Thursday, September 02, 2004

Dunkin Donuts Dynamic

There's a really odd dynamic at the Dunkin Donuts. At first I thought, maybe the one I am a regular at is just in an odd place, with odd people, but no - there are certain consistent oddities at more that just "my" regular stop.

First, there's the regular group of old men, I assume retirees fleeing from their old wives, always at the same table, with the same amount of coffee in their cups, seemingly talking about the same things (size of prostate, how annoying the old lady has become, politics, neighbors, etc.).

Next, the crew. It seems that there are always at least two or three that are always there, then another two or three people that appear to only work there for a few weeks at a clip until a new two or three arrive to take their place. Now if this phenomenon only happened at one of the Dunkin Donuts in the area, I could easily make the assumption that it's perhaps a training facility where after a few weeks, they ship off their trainees to other local Dunkin Donuts shops; that just doesn't appear to be the case. For those of you outside of the greater Boston and Metrowest area, there is a joke around these parts that says "you know you're in Boston when you pass at least six Dunkin Donuts on the way to work." I hope that Dunkin Donuts isn't using the Soylent Green concept.

A personal gripe about one particular member of the crew at the particular Dunkin Donuts I got to. I've been a regular there for more than four years and am there almost every working day. There's one woman who has taken my coffee order at least three or four hundred times (at the very least). My coffee order is always the same, "medium decaf, cream - no sugar". Now I respect the fact that she must take hundreds of orders each and every day. However, I just don't understand that if she could recognize me every day, why is it that there are occasions she will ask if I want sugar, cream, or not ask anything and include sugar in my coffee (rendering it undrinkable)? It just baffles me to no end. I have changed the way I order my coffee recently and to their (and her) credit, it's been correct ever since. I now as for "medium decaf, just cream)".

Finally, the "hold the door" thing. Or what I like to call these days, "hurry the fuck up, do you think I am the fucking doorman?" I can understand being nice, being cordial, even attempting to be civilized at the ridiculously early time we all show up at the Dunkin Donuts shop for our particularly unhealthy breakfast, but do we all really need to hold the door for each other? I say NO. I don't want you to hold the door for me, and likewise, please do not expect me to hold it for you. It's a whole thing where people (me included) pull off some kind of bluff maneuver to stall either leaving or entering so that they can synchronize the right time to hold the door for the person either exiting or entering behind them. It's just plain goofy, annoying, and not genuine - and I just do not wish to take part in the charade any longer.

I think I better let this go for now as I feel my blood pressure beginning to rise. Until tomorrow morning when I'll order my medium decaf, just cream (usually along with a muffin of sorts)...

May God Bless You All!


Melika said...

Fucking holding the door!
I'm down with you - I'm not your goddamn doorman!

jennifer said...

LOL. i share in you anger.