Wednesday, December 08, 2004


I had a nasty scare on Monday night, the evening of my 40th birthday and wish there was a simple answer like too much partying. I was upstairs in my house walking out of a room and then it happened. I wish I knew specifically what it was, and thinking about it, I suspect it looked alot like someone (me in this case) being struck my lightning. There was no pain, and no real noise other that the sound of my body collapsing to the ground and in some odd defensive maneuver controlled by the subconscious mind, my hands slapping across the doorframe to somehow deflect the fall.

I am fairly certain that I never lost consciousness but wasn't aware of what happened until it happened and had to catch my breath to assess the event. I know that I was scared and my first thought was "am I having a heart attack or a stroke?" After catching my breath and realizing I was conscious and breathing, I attempted to get up but everything was spinning - so that wasn't happening. I then crawled into my bedroom (where a phone was nearby), leaned onto the bed and closed my eyes hoping that the spins would stop and prayed for some kind of answers (what's happening?, why?, what should I do?).

Over the course of the next hour I had felt a little better, my nerves were a bit more controlled, and I was able to go to sleep. It wasn't a restful sleep as I awoke a number of times either feeling very cold or very warm - I decided to simply remain put as the room wasn't spinning nor was my heart racing, and that to me was a sign of things being better than before.

Tuesday morning I awoke feeling very "tentative". Not quite sure how I felt though certain I was not at my best, I arose from my lying position to have a somewhat dizzy sensation come over me only to subside almost immediately after I was sitting in an upright position. Then I attempted to walk about the room and I just wasn't feeling right. After all, I had to attempt to do something I do very regularly without having to think about it - that to me is a sign of something being wrong.

I made the decision to go to the emergency room and try to get some answers. There, I spent seven hours waiting, checking in, waiting, being interrogated, waiting, being touched, probed, pricked, checked, monitored, waiting, waiting, and then the doctor gave me his report. "Here in the emergency room, we aren't always able to come up with definite answers, but what we do first is rule out specific 'catastrophic events' such as heart attack and stroke." Fortunately for me, testing on that day showed no signs that I suffered either of those catastrophes; which to me is good news, but also somewhat frustrating because there at this time is no firm explanation for what happened. "It could be a virus or an infection..." they say, but you should get plenty of rest and fluids and follow-up with your physician tomorrow. I write this about an hour and a half before I see my physician in hopes of finding some more answers and/or ruling out other potential catastrophes. I am a bit scared but am trying hard to keep things in the perspective of all that I believe in. Of course nothing is easy when it hurts, is bad, and is happening to you. SO, as I confront what may be nothing, or could be something, I ask you my reader for your good wishes and perhaps your hand to hold.


jennifer said...

of course we are here for you chris. i hope everything works out in your best interest.

Michael said...

I second that, although I'm NOT holding hands with a MAN.

I kid. I hope everything's okay.

Anonymous said...

Hi Chris,

My family and I are all thinking of you during this tough time. I hope everything works out too. Let us know…

Chris Chepiga

Jams said...

Damn, Chris. I hope you're okay.

Jill said...

Chris, how many times do i have to tell you - drink more. Then you would've attributed it all to bed spins and alcohol poisoning. I'm kidding. Maybe it's too much bad MB air. Take it easy and let us know if you need anything.