Friday, December 03, 2004

From the "You Can't Make this Stuff Up" files...


The photo of the public safety log at the right is copied from the school (that I work for's) newspaper. This is the first time they have published a "Public Safety Log" and the only thing I can assume is that it is a "ripoff" of the Police Blotter commonly found in the local newspapers.

Having read the school newspaper for the nearly seven years I've been here, I can say that beyond the shadow of a doubt, this was the single most entertaining thing I've ever read in this publication. Unfortunately for them, I don't think that was the intent, but c'est la vie.

Here is the text EXACTLY as it appears:

Sept 16, 2004

0935-W-Jette: Called by dispatcher to come to the Public Safety Office - unruly student smoking in front of the building - matter taken care of at this lime.
Sept 17, 2004

0730-W-Jette: informed by Irvine that there was property damage to the loading dock area at the Framingham campus. See report 04-79
0955-W-.Jette: Dispatched to a medical emergency, room 409 Carey bldg. See report #04-80
1235-W-Jette: Approached by faculty member asking if I could turn the television down - large group of students reacting loudly to football plays.
Sept 20, 2004

0720-W-Jette: Met with two students concerned about the parking in the meadow parking lot - students are blocking the roadway- entering/exiting the wrong way.
Sept 21, 2004

1655- W-Fuller Mother awaiting pickup of daughter in lot reports waiting for an hour with no show. Fuller located daughter who reports she does not speak with her mother and was not expecting her. Mother already left. Daughter not concerned.
Sept 22, 2004

1251-W-Jette: Responded to false 911 call with the Wellesley police, fire, and EMS made from tech tower elevator
Sept 23, 2004

0850-W-Jette: Student reported a vehicle smoking in the lower lot - water hose on vehicle busted.
Sept 28, 2004

1030-W-Jette: Received two (2) emergency calls from two (2) female arguing over parking spot - one student fearful of exiting her vehicle - other student blocking her and opened the
fearful student’s car door threatening her.- Jette and Irvine respond, nothing further
1340-W-Jette: on patrol of the Café - smoking area keeping the smokers away from the bldg. so that they do not set off the smoke detectors at the entrances to the bldg.
Sept 29, 2004

1053-W-Jette: Responds to the Café because due to a group of students using loud, vulgar language. Informed them that it is not acceptable, nothing further.
Oct 1, 2004

1830-W-FuIler: Alarm company reports Wellness Center alarm going off. Inspection of area shows all in order. Party looking for basketball tournament 5 mins prior may have set it off by trying door. Provide access to area for cleaner.
Oct 5, 2004

1235-W-Jette: Patrolled the front of the main bldg. keeping smokers away from the front of the bldg. - watching out for motorist trying to park around the rotary or in the fire lane. Contacted by Laurie Taylor stating a student was sick and vomiting in café - Venice and Jette responded student OK - food got caught in his throat - a constant situation with entire family.
Oct 7, 2004

1215-W-Jette: Met with faculty member who left I-Pod type music recorder in her classroom - Campus police was left a note stating that someone had indeed found a music recorder and left his/her e-mail address, information provided to instructor.
1500-F- Johnson: Advised by members of Fuller School of witness hit and run, investigated, found to be outside of primary jurisdiction, FPD notified.
Oct 12, 2004

1550-W-Fuller Odor of marijuana detected in area of cafeteria/elevator/side door. Checked men’s room, elevator, facilities doorway, exterior and cafe. Unable to determine source. No one in immediate area.
{If you've made it this far, I might remind you that this is a college, an institution of Higher Education...Oh boy!}

1 comment:

Jams said...

Heh. That's a scream. The next time you run across one of those security officers, you really should remind them to take a minute and write the tobacco industry a letter thanking them for their jobs. ;)