The following three conversations are all adapted from actual real-life conversations I've had. The witty intellectual voice is mine, the other one is not.
Bad Phone Conversation
Phone rings at home; you pick it up and say “Hello.” Caller says, “Who is this?” Your mouth begins to move in preparation to respond with the answer to the question when you realize the inappropriate nature and instead say, “Uh, you called me, who is this?” “Nevermind!” [Click]
Bad F2F Conversation
“Hey, how are you.” “I am fine, thanks for asking.” “I’m fine too, though you didn’t really ask.” “You are right, I didn’t.”
“So, you’re here today.” “Actually not, at this time I am merely a figment of your subconscious mind manifesting itself in a three dimensional life-like image to help you justify having a conversation with someone who is not actually present.”
Another Bad F2F Conversation
“Hi, I was hoping to speak with you for a few minutes, when are you here?” “Considering the fact that you and I are having this conversation in the present and are physically close enough to each other that we can touch, I’d have to say right now.”