Wednesday, March 23, 2005

The Italian Who Went To Detroit

I was thinking about my Dad to day who passed away 12 years ago on the 30th of this month. My dad loved to laugh and joke around alot - I'll probably write a post about him next week but there was one specific joke he brought home from work one day. Before jokes got passed around via email they used to travel about in packs of photocopied materials. Amongst the pack of stuff one day was this little story called "The Italian Who Went to Detroit". What made it funny is that my father emigrated from Italy at the age of 30 so he always had a pretty thick accent and when read with an Italian accent, this still gets me laughing like crazy. Dad, if you can read this blog in heaven, this one's for you...

The Italian Who Went To Detroit

One day Ima gonna go to Detroit to a bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two piss’s toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss. She say, go to the toilet. I say, you no understand, I wanna two piss on mya plate. She say you better no piss on your plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don’t even know this lady and she calla me a sonna ma bitch.

Later I go out to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock. Itella her I wanna fock. She tells me everyone wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table you sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room in a hotel and there is no shits on a my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tella me to go to the toilet. I say, you no understand, I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better no shit on the bed you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say, Peace to you. I say piss ona you to, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna go back to Italy.

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