Sunday, October 29, 2006

Fall Back, Spring Ahead

It's that weekend again, the good one - where we get an extra hour of sleep. That is, so long as you don't completely forget to set the clocks and alarms back before going to sleep. So, here I am at 7:10am on Sunday morning all shaved, showered, and dressed for church and an extra hour to kill before I even have to think about getting Victoria off to church school in time.

Later today I need to write a sarcastic note to the illiterates in the subscription department of the Boston Globe. Hopefully I can get them over the hurdle of learning to read and get my subscription back on track.

As a result of recent post humor by Egan, I'm considering writing a parody of "Runaround Sue" and I have no shame to mention it's title..."Reacharound Sue".

Hugh Laurie hosted Saturday Night Live last night. I "tivo'd" it so I look forward to seeing that later this afternoon. I use the word tivo'd but I actually don't own a tivo brand dvr. My dvr is direct from DISH network but I think the verb "to tivo" is generic enough to apply to the concept of digital video recording in general.

Until later, but an hour sooner until spring.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Rush Limbaugh Must Die!

That’s it folks, there’s no other way to say it. I’m not talking figuratively; I’m talking plain and simple right out of the box literally.

I just has the extreme displeasure of seeing that asshole Rush mock Michael J. Fox (the video is on youtube if your interested in being repulsed, I refuse to paste it here, and I just couldn’t believe my eyes.

Rush, please die! An not a quickie convenient heart attack, I’m talking a slow, painful, horrible death.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Help Desk Humor (etc.)

I was perusing work orders in the help desk system and this one struck me, "Printer in admissions office is printing dirty things, please look at it." - - -Ya gotta love it.

I highly recommend the audiobook versions of all of David Sedaris' books. They are funny enough to read, but hearing him (with occasional assistance from his sister Amy) is just a laugh riot.

I can't seem to get a return call from my brother or sister-in-law, but I am getting rather cozy with their voice mail.

My thoughts and prayers are with the Rev. Susan Richmond, who is recovering from surgery. I love you Susan, come back soon.

I miss Jenn and Steve, Dr. Liz, the "Holiday Bunch", and a real day off.

Ya just gotta love this...

Hug someone that you love.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Halloween Extravaganza

Just returned from Jill's upteenth annual halloween party and I must say it was as always, a blast. The creativity of the costumes was just incredible. There was an aquarium, an ice luge, spaghetti & meatballs, LJ and Bill dressed up as salt and a duracell battery respectively (get it? a salt & battery), Jill and Brian were Bacon & Eggs, there was a guy dressed as a box of tissues...

Hopefully LJ will send me copies of her photos, which I would share with you all here. Int he meantime, thanks for the invite Jill - it was f-u-n fun.

P.S. I forgot to mention LJ's meatballs. Fantastic as usual.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Tutorial Post: How to Line Up at Dunkin Donuts

My fellow patron of Dunkin Donuts, in particular, the one on Franklin Street in Framingham. I mean no disrespect to your culture or the planet in which you were born, however, now that we inhabit the earth together and grab our morning coffee at the same establishment, I think it's time someone taught you how to properly line up at the counter.

Since we clearly differ in levels of intelligence and perhaps languages spoken, I've prepared a diagram hoping that it would be an effective means of communication. The following diagram illustrates the proper and improper (the way you curently do it) methods and I hope that you will study the picture and practice at home before Monday.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The Eye Has It...

or, Why picking your nose is dangerous business.

This dude must've had a major whistler, what the hell was he thinking?

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Milestone Meaning

So it seems that we've hit the 300 million mark in population and there are countless articles as to what this might mean for our future as a nation. I say, unless we're ready to take the fiction out of Soylent Green, fuck the speculation and lets get to the moronic comical and or miserable side of the story.

To the average American, there are currently 299,999,999 assholes sharing their coutry with them.

The potential exists for 600 million shoelaces to be untied all at the same time.

300 million people equals 6 billion digits (give or take a few fingers and/or toes).

If everyone of the 300 million populants were to contribute an equal share to resolve the national debt, each would need to contribute nearly $30,000!

If all 300 million people were only 1" tall and each were stacked atop each other, the human totem pole would reach a height of 4,734.85 miles.

If only 37% of the population ate an average of 146 strands of spaghetti per month, it would take about 29,979,910.71 pounds of spaghetti to feed them. If each of those strands of spaghetti were stretched out next to each other, it would span a distance of 2,129,255.02 miles.

I'll stop here admitting that I actually took the time to research this data - have at it.

With love and humor...Chris

Monday, October 16, 2006

Early Morning Wake Up Call

So I have the day off but I still am awake, showered, shaved, and dressed while typing this at 6:30 a.m. Am I off my rocker? Of course, but most of you know that already.

My wife is amidst an overnight shift and someone has to get the little one off to school! Plus, I plan on bringing my car into the shop for an oil change, and and inspection of the cooling system following the horror show in Canada a few months ago. I have that nervous cramp thing going on in my tummy fearing the worst; I hate the car at the dealership fear, but they sometimes find bad things and charge lots of cash. Hopefully my giant box of coffee will help as it usually does to ease the financial burden.

I bring the "guys" a "box of joe" (Dunkin Donuts boxes 10 cups of coffee) every time I bring my car in and thus far, it had never failed to save me money. Little gestures go a long way.

Off for now, perhaps I'll touch base again later on.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Before It's Gone for Good...

this is an audio post - click to play

Cat Talk

Here are just a few things I think my cat would say to me if he could speak the English language for a day:
  1. Stop referring to me as "your little boy!" I am a friggin' cat and I sure as hell hope you never attempted to cross breed.
  2. Any chance I could get a piece of that steak - these vittles are getting old?
  3. Could we watch something a little less faggy on TV?
  4. Of course my breath smells like shit, I wipe my ass with my tongue.
  5. What did you think, cat's don't fart?
  6. Hey asshole, you might want to get the press here quick, you own a talking cat.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Sad, Just too Damn Sad

  • A photograph such as this one is sad unti itself.
  • The fact that the building is in New York City, considering the whole 9/11 history, adds scary to sadness.
  • While terrorism had nothing to do wit it, the images and memories an image such as this will conjure is very sad and painful.
  • The fact that people dies, including Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle, who was the pilot is sad.
  • I have no more words, only tears and prayers.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Encounters in the Blogosphere

Today I had the great pleasure in meeting the one and only Monkey Boy and his delightful wife. While technically I've met a number of bloggers that I've communicated with via the blogosphere, they were either friends or friends of friends that all come from the same area where I live.

Egan and his wife were in town for a wedding and they were kind enough to share some of their last day in Boston with me. It was a great pleasure putting a face to a name and the personality. And to meet a fellow blogger from thousands of miles away.

Egan and N-PO, it was great to meet and spend time with both of you. I apologize for missing the exit on the right on 93 but am am glad that we made it Logan in time. See ya next time.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

From Jane...

My dear friend Jane feels the following Jon Stewart segment should be made available "world wide." So, doing my part, I am posting it here instead for all my reader (lol :)):

Everybody in unison sing now..."Sweet Jane! Come on baby now! Sweet Jane! Oh-oh-a! Sweet Jane!"

I'd gladly be singing were I not laughing my ass off from this video.

Christmas Angel

You may or mayn't recall my being forced into writing children's stories from this post.

Here is story number two in the Angels Among Us collection....

Christmas Angel

The first Christmas that I remember, my dad has just brought home the biggest Christmas tree ever. I remember him asking us all to stand back while he set it up on the stand and straightened out the branches. Daddy said that we needed to let the tree settle for a couple of days so that it could “find its shape.” On Saturday, we would all get together to decorate our new tree.

Saturday came and we started our day with a big breakfast after which, daddy and my big brother went to get the boxes of Christmas decorations out of the garage. Most of the decorations were just your normal every day Christmas decorations: lights, garland, colorful glass hanging balls, and the sort. However, there were three ornaments that were very special to all of us.

One of the special ornaments was the “Silent Night” ball. Made from delicate purple glass, it was round, had a snow covered house on it and of course, it had the words “Silent Night” in fancy lettering that looked like they were covered in snow across the purple background. The second special ornament was a colorful glass bird. I can’t tell you exactly why it was so special, maybe because it was so colorful, maybe because it was old, all I am certain of is that it was very special to all of us. Finally, there was the Christmas angel that sat atop the tree every year for as long as anyone could remember.

My grandma told me a story about how the Christmas angel was watching over her one year. She said that she was just five years old and it was her turn to place the angel on top of the Christmas tree. Even though she wasn’t so tall, her dad always set up the tree near the staircase. Grandma would simply climb the stairs and reach out over the rail to place the angel in its place atop the tree. Once the Angel was in the perfect spot, Grandma said she would whisper a secret wish to the angel. She swore that she never told a soul the wish she asked of the angel.

On Christmas night that year, just like a miracle, grandma’s wish came true. You see, her mom was sick that year. So when grandma placed the angel on top of the Christmas tree that year she whispered to the angel a simple wish, to make her mom feel better. Grandma’s Christmas night wish came true that night, everyone called it a miracle, her mom got out of her sick bed and was able to spend Christmas happily with her family. As grandma explains it, “It was a joyful celebration. Everyone ate too much for dinner and then too much pumpkin pie. Later we all opened up presents, but no present was as special as momma being there with us, healthy as she had ever been.”

Long after grandma died, we always spent some time remembering her story at Christmas. No matter how many or how few presents we had never really mattered as much as having each other to share in the joy of the celebration.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

The Piano

I love this picture. Great perspective, great lighting, great picture taker (me).
The Piano (Keyboard) is owned by the DeCoursey family and resides in their lovely home.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Mental Health Day

I took the day off today so that I can just have some time to veg out and catch up with things (yeah, right). Also, at the end of October and April, all vacation time in excess of 480 hours get "swiped" and moved to sick time - so I plan to take off next Friday and the following Monday as well.

I am hoping to meet Egan sometime this holiday weekend who is in town from Seattle for a wedding.

I still haven't forgotten about Outlet Shmoutlets part 2.

I'm not yet sold on The Killers but I might be on the way.

Bye Bye.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The Finger

I saw this at Factum and just thought it was priceless and had to share it here:

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Since the finger is appropriate for the sentiment I have toward UPS, I'll comment on my ill feelings towards this company and their major competitors. Why is it they work making deliveries when most average folks are not home to receive their packages? Why don't they make a concerted effort to do residential deliveries on a different shift?

Monday, October 02, 2006

Outlet Shmoutlet

My first experience with outlet shopping should have set the tone and kept me from every going back. However, I'm just as vulnerable as the next person and have returned on several occasions to several different places all resulting in disappointment and annoyance.

The first trip dates back quite a few years back when living in NY. My friend Glen and his wife (can't remember if they were spouses at the time, but they were together) along with her family were heading down to an outlet mall near the Delaware Water Gap (not anywhere near Delaware, rather between NJ and PA). Considering that the drive was 80 miles each way and they were all gung-ho on going, I expected bargains galore - but there were few, very few bargains to be found to warrant a 160 mile round trip in a mini van stuffed with someone else's family.

Some time later, I drove with my then girlfriend in MA to the Outlets in Kittery, Maine. Coincidentally, another 80 mile trek and yet another disappointment. Kittery is basically a town that has two things, the outlet center, and the restaurant across from it. Once again, 160 miles of driving, on me this time, and not a single bargain to be had.

Yet again, sometime after that, I visited the Wrentham Village Premium Outlets, in Wrentham, MA; a mere 30 mile or so drive. Not only was it another disappointment, but I've actually returned there, like three or four times - all with the same disappointing results.

I'll follow up this post with my most recent disappointment but for now, please let me know if you have any outlet shopping stories to tell...good or bad.