Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I Dislike Golf Enormously

That's a far nicer way of saying I hate golf, right? I'm not going to fight over calling golf a sport, heck if curling can be called a sport than knock'em dead golfers, call your little game a sport if you must. However, I draw the line at referring to a golfer as an athlete; no way, I am not going there.
I recognize the skill necessary to be good at the game of golf. I even am willing to acknowledge that there are golfers who can be referred to as "athletic" (Tiger Woods is a good example). However, one can play that game, and even be quite good at it, and not have an athletic bone in their body (John Daly comes to mind).
When I first moved to Massachusetts, I was amazed at how many golf courses there are, it seems an average of one per town. George Carlin has what I consider a brilliant diatribe about golf where he considers building low income housing on the golf courses as a solution to the homeless problem. I once referred to the game as "billiards for the arrogant."
What baffles me most perhaps about the game of golf is it's consumption of television, including national television, time. Can somebody offer a logical reason (other than to cure insomnia) as to why one would want to watch someone play golf? Of course that leads me to the idea of spectators. What is up with that? Do you travel from hole to hole? Do you stand where the golfer tees off then follow them? Sick I tell you, very very sick.
I realize that some of you may enjoy golf and even be golf enthusiasts. While I realize this post may be offensive, that is not my intent. Perhaps my negative bias simply feeds my ignorance in this case. Never the less, this post does accurately represent how I feel.


egan said...

Golf is the lamest sport. I do see the skill involved, but it's not really a test of fitness. And don't get me started about how lame it was when they wanted to ban the handicap guy from using his wheelchair. Ugh. Fucking golf. Amen Chris.

sprizee said...

The same could be said for baseball, could it not?

Airam said...

I think golf should be played like Happy Gilmore does. At least it'd be entertaining, no?

ARM said...

Ugh is right, Egan. Golf drives me nuts. I can't stand it. My office building is actually on the same property as a golf course. And we can see the golfers going to and fro being douche bags with their lame ass golf carts. Most of the guys I know who play golf are the biggest douche bags I've ever met in my life. They're...smarmy. It's the only word to describe these people. And when they start talking about golf, I want to make this noise: "bbbbbblllllllllleeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhh" and then slap 'em.

Don't get me started. Don't even get me started.

Chris said...

Egan - lame is a good word to use where golf is concerned. What's up with the handicap dude? I don't know of that story.

Sprizee - I suppose that one who is not a baseball fan can argue about the space that baseball fields take up and such, but the necessity for athletic ability to be a good baseball player is unquestionable.

Airam - or Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack.

ARM - I love the word smarmy.

brookem said...

you know, im not big into golf either. but my grandfather LOVES to watch it, and i cant help but just think it's really precious that he follows tiger woods like he does. i too, would find it kind of boring, but it's just not my thing.
also, egan's little bit about the guy in the wheelchair not being able to compete? that makes me sick inside. that's so wrong in so many ways.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

As much as I respect that others enjoy the game I must agree with you on every point....

radioactive girl said...

My father in law watches golf on tv constantly. It makes me crazy. It actually made me laugh once though because we were talking while it was on and he shushed me because he wanted to hear a certain dramatic part. Too funny! I completely agree about golf!

My husband plays golf all the time, and sometimes watches it on tv. I just don't understand, but then again I am guilty of watching a soap and he doesn't understand that at all either.

M said...

Amen - I totally agree! It's a moronic sport really - and I hate it how it's seen as 'relaxing'. I mean dude - if it's relaxing then it's not a bloody sport, surely! Not that it looks relaxing - it looks FRUSTRATING there's a tiny little ball and like 80 billion acres to get it lost in. ugh.

Chris said...

Brookem - I'm sure your grandpa has earned the right to enjoy following Tiger Woods, who is a remarkable golfer.

Princess Extraordinaire - Extraordinarily well said.

Radioactive Girl - I watch General Hospital Daily, that is far more entertaining than golf could ever be. Trust me, you are the sane one.

M - I appreciate your international contribution to this post. I love your last sentence.