Friday, September 14, 2007
My Magic Button
Today I am going to push my magic button and then all will be right again. Everybody I know will be happy and healthy for all of their days. All of my blogger peeps will be in full force blogging and commenting. Cuzzup will move to MA and open an successful northeast branch of Trail Boss. Everyone will skrinker about with perfect hair so that Brookem could start a new blog dedicated exclusively to good heads of hair (which we will discuss frequently over Thai food and Sam Adams). Me, ARM, and Radioactive Girl will open the first and/or best online bakery and it will be a smashing success. Airam will become principal – no, wait, that I bet would be a waste of her amazing teaching skills but she will start a weekly podcast featuring snapping pencil sounds and unintentional karaoke; needless to say all of her other needs will be met as well. Sprizee will win the car of her choice, in a custom hybrid version, and this car will never breakdown or need anything other than routine maintenance and a name other than Gretchen 2. Apple will become a customer service oriented company. Egan will become triathlete and father of the year simultaneously and score a small fortune as Apple stock goes through the roof after becoming a customer service oriented company. Egan will purchase iBooks, IPhones, and iPods for all of his blogger friends and they will remain trouble free since Apple has become a customer oriented service company.
Crap, I can't find my magic button. I better go look for it, the warranty expired yesterday and of course Apple is the manufacturer.
Note: This all started as a fantasy sequence and turned into an ugly rant on Apple. I just couldn't resist but it really is all in good natured fun. Truth is I really wish I had that button because all of you mean so much to me. I wish that I could take care of everyone I care about and protect everyone from the fucked up shit. Well, at least we all have each other…perhaps that darn button exists after all.