Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Tech Support Shenanigans

Here's what happened. I went to HP's website in search of some drivers for a computer issue at work. Every two seconds, an annoying pop-up appears asking if I want "Live" technical support. After the 19th or so (probably the 3rd in actuality) time, I said "Fuck it" and went for the kill with Leo, the live technical helper. What follows is a partial transcript which includes the shenanigans. You'll note that Leo totally ignores the shenanigans and only answers the strategically interspersed "serious" questions (mostly not displayed here).

Leo: May I know the Product line that you are interested in?
Guest: HP 3000dn printer

Leo: Will you be reselling this product?
Guest: Is there any advantage to doing so?
Leo: To make sure, will you be reselling this printer.
Leo: ?
Leo: We have separate department for personal, business and reseller, so that I can transfer you to the right queue.
Guest: I would like to keep it for a while first.
Leo: Thank you very much for the information.
Leo: The HP 3000dn printer has been discontinued.
Guest: Now that I think of it and refer to my notes it's the 3005dn
Leo: Are you looking to buy the HP 3005dn printer?
Guest: Yes, thank you very much.
all that hoopla about transferring me to the right queue and I'm still yanking Leo's chain.
Leo: You're most welcome! Is there anything else I can do for you?
Guest: My roommate put a pancake through the manual feed of my current printer and it ruined lt. Will this model endure such foolishness?

Guest: Can it print foreign language fonts such as Cyrillic and Japanese?
Guest: I just realized it's been a while since I had sushi. Do you like sushi?
Leo: The HP P3005 printer can support PCL Fonts - Total 103 (scalable TrueType fonts and includes Greek, Hebrew, Cyrillic, Arabic)

Guest: I am considering purchasing one of your care pack but am not sure just how much care I need nor how much care I will receive. You seem to care very much, if l get your care then I will buy.
Leo: One moment please...
I know, I am an ass - I thought he was going to get a supervisor. But back he came (trooper).
Leo: Thanks for waiting online.
Guest: I didn't realize I was online

Guest: Is your tech support US based or India (or some other country). Be honest now!
Out comes the hard hitting reporter in me.
Leo: Sorry, it is against our policy to reveal specifications on our location; however, HP does support operations in various places worldwide
Guest: l'm going to ponder my final decision over pancakes and sushi and I'll be back later Leo. Thanks for the help. Bye Bye!
Leo: It's been a pleasure assisting you . I would also like to know personally if you are completely satisfied with the help you received from me.
Guest: You've been quite informative and helpful even through my silliness, a good thing. Not sure about the tech support though.
Leo: Thanks for your feedback. Thank you for visiting HP Chat. Have a wonderful weekend!
Leo: Bye and take care J


Airam said...

Now when you say Leo ... you don't mean Leonardo DiCaprio do you?


AaroN said...

THAT was funny!

I used to reply to spam with random stuff, but it got old. Perhaps I need to get back into it.

Chris said...

Airam - :) I didn't give the dude a fictional name, I really spoke with Leo.

Aaron - Thanks - every once in a while the world needs a good prank.