Friday, March 14, 2008

Operation Ozzy

It was sometime in the 80's and we arrived at the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Long Island for an Ozzy Osbourne concert. I don't remember the entire group of us but the core was me and this guy Mark. Mark and I worked together at Titus Oaks Record Shop on the corner of Avenue U and Ocean Avenue in Brooklyn, New York.

Concert security in those days, especially for heavy metal events, was pretty tight so it was no surprise that they were patting us down pretty good. Now Mark in those days was big on recording live events and trading "bootlegs", so of course he had a recording device that he needed to conceal; and where do you think he concealed it?

In a word, crotch! He shoved the darn thing down his pants and hoped for the best. In the eighties, we relied on analog cassette tapes, so the recording devices were considerable larger and more squared off in those days. As a result, the recording device left a boxy bulge in Marks Levi's and this got the security staff excited curious enough to tap on the crotchety regions which then resonated with a sound typical of something not typical for a crotchety region given the context of the appearance.

Have you any clue how freakin' hard it is to keep a straight face through this? While we were holding back the laughter, Mark thought quick and told Mr. Touchy/Feely Security guy that he had just had an operation and that the hard item in his crotchety region was a cast. He let us through, we saw the show, Marc recorded it happily ever after. Nothing more need be said.


Anonymous said...

Great story!! I can only imagine what went through the security guy's mind...

Chris said...

Erin - Considering how readily he knocked on Marc's PP area, he may have been disappointed :)