Monday, August 11, 2008

Honeybaked Lunchbox

There's a retail store that is relatively invisible on the landscape of route 9 in Framingham with the exception of Easter and one other holiday which I can't recall though I think it's Christmas. On these two holidays, it requires several police details to sift people safely and orderly into and out of the Honeybaked Ham Co. while maintaining the flow of traffic along route nine. It has such an effect on traffic that it you are heading eastbound, you may need to allocate an additional hour or more to your drive time.
A few days ago, a colleague came by my desk and mentioned that he went to Honeybaked Ham for lunch which at first confused me because I wasn't even aware you could do such a thing. He mentioned they made these "lunch boxes that included a choice of sandwich (with condiments), a bag of chips, and a couple of cookies.
Always looking for something different for lunch and a good value to boot, the following day I convinced another colleague to tag along with me for a try at one of these boxed lunches, so off we went.
From the moment we walked in I knew it wasn't going to be a typical trip for lunch. The lady working, whose name I can't recall so I'll refer to her a Rosie, was seemingly stunned to see anyone, much less two people at the same time entering the store. "Oh, well Hello there! Welcome to The Honeybaked Ham Company, my name is Rosie. How can I help you?"
I responded, "we'd like to order some of your boxed lunches." "How many are you interested in ordering?" asked Rosie. I said, "Well, I would like one and I believe my friend here will enjoy but one as well." Rosie seemed thrown again at such a small order and poorly hid behind her response by saying, "oh....well certainly. Did you know what kind of sandwiches you were interested in?" Again, I did the talking first, "I'm going with what makes you famous there Rosie, I will have the ham." My colleague chimed in at this point, "I too will have the ham." A flustered Rosie reached for a menu and read off the ingredients in the ham sandwich to ensure that we were content with out selections and her interpretation of those selections. Once we both affirmed, we just waited around and observed while Rosie went to work.
Rosie was moving around with much hesitancy appearing uncertain and flustered so much that a large man who I assumed was the manager (assumed for no other reason that he had a name tag and appeared more together and somewhat managerial in that moment) came out from what appeared to be one of half a dozen or so large refrigeration doors to assist Rosie. While I noticed a roll had to be sacrificed due to a mess up on Rosie's part, the boxed lunches came together and it was time to pay and go.
Rosie brought the first box over and I was waiting there in front of the register and said, "I'll take the first one!" She said "okay then, that'll be $8.07 please." I handed Rosie a $20 bill and she started punching away at the keys erroneously typing in $10 as the amount tendered which threw here into a tailspin unable to calculate that she only needed to add $10 to the $1.93 amount showing for change on the register.By the time she figured all this out, smoke beginning to rise from her frazzled hair, she was poking through the change compartments and it was clear again they aren't equipped for regular retail trade as there was what appeared to be less than $1 and certainly not enough change to make the 93 cents portion of my change. So, with no intention of totally fucking with Rosie's remaining sanity I sorted through the rare occurrence of change in my pockets and while lacking a nickel managed a dime and two pennies. It clearly cost Rosie a year or two off her life to calculate the nickel she'd need to return to me and to make matters so much worse, I found an opportunity to really have some fun and intentionally fuck with her.
On the radio was the song "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias and just as she was in the midst of flipping her lid calculating my change, I belted out the chorus to the song at the top of my lungs. far louder than the radio. She had no idea what to make of it and for that matter, neither did my colleague.
We finally got both our lunches and left. Both were quite good though my colleague mentioned that they left the paper on the slice of cheese which happened to be inside his sandwich. I did ask him if he had any clue that I was intentionally fucking around when I started to sing and her didn't. He said, "I wasn't sure what you were doing. I thought maybe it was just a catchy tune and you just got into it."
Oh, the fun.


Joy said...

Good grief! I totally believe it.

You must really be fun to go places with. LOL

Chris said...

Joy - It was lots of fun and he sandwich was quite good. Only time will tell if my colleague will chance going to lunch with me again but hey, you are always welcome (though the commute might be a bit rough). :)

Joy said...

I'll just pretend I don't know you or join in the singing which would definitely get us kicked out. LOL