Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Truth Revealed

A few days ago I posted "11 Random Lies and 1 Truth". I've enjoyed the feedback both here and on FB and as promised, I'll reveal the truth here today.
  1. I have 6 toes on my left foot.
    Each of my feet has the expected 5 toes.
  2. Blood is currently coming out of my right ear.
    The question you have to ask is "when?". At the time I wrote the list, there was no blood coming from anywhere in me to anywhere out of me.
  3. I once used a 3 hole punch to make bologna polka-dots.
    At some point in the future, I hope to do this because as I made it up while typing this, I realized how fun that would be and how me that is (as did Re Re).
  4. I wash my chest hair with Mayonnaise once a week to prevent it from going gray.
    You must admit this one had you thinking, perhaps even googling dare I say - it isn't true though.
  5. I like to put slices of fresh citrus fruits in the washer with my laundry.
    While I often have wondered if this would work, I have yet to try it.
  6. I've fantasized about knitting on the subway wearing nothing but snakeskin boots.
    This happens to be...false (at least for now).
  7. Toothpaste is my favorite snack food.
    This isn't true either but it stems from a silly joke I wrote about how my secret ingredient in Mint Fudge Brownies is toothpaste....minty delicious and no need to brush your teeth after eating them.
  8. Wombats can only be impregnated on Thursday's.
    Just being silly.
  9. I offered a hand job to someone before I knew what a hand job was.
    Many of you wanted this to be true so in an effort to not disappoint you, completely, while this isn't true, I once inadvertently asked a hair dresser for a "cut and a blow job".
  10. I'll make millions of my new invention: Chocolate Covered Brussel Sprouts (Belgian Chocolate of course).
    Did anyone get the built-in joke with this falsie?
  11. I like to fill the holes in Swiss cheese with other kinds of cheese.
    Someday, I'd like to do this while hanging out with Airam, she seemed to like this one as much as I did when I made it up.
  12. I've stood in a wrestling ring with a professional wrestler.
    Tada! Cuzzhuzz guessed correctly! In the 70's and 80's I was a huge wrestling fan. One time, they had wrestling at my high school and I was able to get a security job to work the gig through the promoter. There was an awkward moment when I walked into the locker room only to find a bunch of wrestlers playing a card game that they were serious enough about to ream me and then toss em out of the locker room. Anyway, after the event ended, a few of us working the gig got to go in the ring when one of the wrestlers joined us in the ring to shoot the breeze and hang with us.
So, there you have it!

Friday, January 30, 2009

A Couple of Bullets to Hold You Over

  • I watched "Goodfellas" a few days back; it's been years since I've seen it. I didn't think much of it then and still think it's highly overrated. Then again, I think Scorcese it way overrated as a film maker - far too pretentious.
  • This is clearly a double standard but open a movie with a naked woman, I got no problems - in fact, you got my attention. Open a movie with full frontal male nudity (Forgetting Sarah Marshall), and I wanna barf.
  • Tomorrow is the reveal.
  • The only part of the Super Bowl that I'll be watching is the halftime show - BRUCE!
  • I'm still hooked on Mob Wars.
  • Enzo Stuarti - I haven't heard that name in maybe 25 years until today.
  • The economy has me truly frightened.
  • I just came up with a new word, literally just this second: Nostalgiacide.
  • 530

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sometimes I Feel Like...

...the little guy.
fish
It's tough not to be somewhat fearful in this economy. It seems that each day, thousands more are out of work and I am yet more thankful that, at least for that day, it wasn't me.
If you know someone who has lost there job, someone local, invite them over for dinner. The dinner need not be fancy, after all, you too should be frugal - but feed your neighbor, it's a simple gesture that will really make a difference in someone's life.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

11 Random Lies and 1 Truth

The whole "List" concept has been running wild over on that other online world.  thought I'd create something of a parody to all the list craziness by offering 11 random lies and 1 truth. Your job is to determine which of the dirty dozen is fact:
Find the truth, if you dare.
  1. I have 6 toes on my left foot.
  2. Blood is currently coming out of my right ear.
  3. I once used a 3 hole punch to make bologna polka-dots.
  4. I wash my chest hair with Mayonnaise once a week to prevent it from going gray.
  5. I like to put slices of fresh citrus fruits in the washer with my laundry.
  6. I've fantasized about knitting on the subway wearing nothing but snakeskin boots.
  7. Toothpaste is my favorite snack food.
  8. Wombats can only be impregnated on Thursday's.
  9. I offered a hand job to someone before I knew what a hand job was.
  10. I'll make millions of my new invention: Chocolate Covered Brussel Sprouts (Belgian Chocolate of course).
  11. I like to fill the holes in Swiss cheese with other kinds of cheese.
  12. I've stood in a wrestling ring with a professional wrestler.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Food Television

I only recall two cooking shows from my childhood, one was a British dude called "The Galloping Gourmet" and the other, of course, was Julia Child.
Today, decades and hundreds of channels into the evolution of the medium, there are more cooking shows than there were shows back in the day.
I personally have learned quite a bit by watching many of these cooks and dare I say, I've been entertained. I've even thought in some odd way how much I'd like to go to culinary school at some time, if only for the experience.
Of late, cooking shows have merged into the reality TV genre and after watching a number of them, I sometimes fantasize about participation.
That's it.

Monday, January 26, 2009

I Don't Believe...

...that MRI machines need to be that noisy.
...that the billions spent on the space program have or will ever pay off.
...that the weather can be any more accurately predicted with fancy doppler radar equipment than a stick and a saliva moistened finger (or an arthritic knee).
...anything that Rod Blagojevich says.
...that Oprah is that bummed out about being 200 pounds.
...that computer viruses are anything other than the creation of the people who sell anti-virus software.
...that I can come up with any more things I don't believe right now because I am dog tired...Good night.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Dilemma

I had committed to writing a reflection for this year's Lenten Devotional Guide. This is something I had done a few times before so I took on the commitment thinking, why not?
The due date for submission is today and I spent considerable time last night (and on several other previous occasions) reading the scripture pieces and I am totally stuck.
I don't know if I just ended up with some touch readings or my current life just has me blocked from the necessary creativity to make this work (that doesn't even make sense)...
I did find a common thread - Faith. However, here at 10:42pm I am still lost as to where to go with it.
I did manage to pull off an overly exhaustive analysis of the forthcoming Springsteen CD (due out this coming Tuesday) - see the two previous posts if you have any interest.
I bought a Don Williams anthology from iTunes this evening and have listened to most of it. I have loved Don Williams music for ages but haven't listened in some time - great stuff.
Oh well - catch ya all later.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Working on a Dream continued

medium_dream
"What Love Can Do", "This Life" and "Good Eye" follow in sequence and I can't help but feel that in particular, these three songs are sequenced as such deliberately. There is almost a sonic structure that builds from within each song, progressing sonically into each song. The musical influences of The Byrds and that sound they always had, a touch of Phil Spector - lots of layers, sound atop sound with the vocal sitting on top like a cherry on a sundae. Three very unique sounding songs that somehow are a part of each other - not just in sound, but lyrically - there is a complex resonance that ties these songs together - for me at least.
"Tomorrow Never Knows" could be a hit on the country charts any day and in fact, with some minor rearrangement would be a killer bluegrass number (note to Alison Kraus). I dare you to listen to this song and not tap your foot; two minutes and twelve seconds of pure joy.
As I listen again to "Life Itself" and "Kingdom of Days" I find myself wondering why I am even attempting to analyze these songs - these aren't meant to be analyze, just listened to. The best way I can describe these songs, along with "Surprise, Surprise" which follow is that they are beautiful.
"Surprise, Surprise" in particular, for me, just makes me feel so darn good. The sound, the vocals, the lyrical surprises - In five listens, this is one of my favorite songs not just on this album, not just of Springsteen, but of all time.
"The Last Carnival" brings the album to a close with a folksy, yet gospel-tinged, story song told only like a Springsteen story song could be told.
"The Wrestler" is technically the last song on the album, listed as a "Bonus Track". This song is from the Darren Aronofsky film of the same name and was written for the movie supposedly at the request of actor Mickey Rourke. I was a huge wrestling fan growing up, I even still watch it once in a while. I've read many biographies and autobiographies of wrestlers and have studies the profession and it's participants to some degree. In less than four minutes, Springsteen tells the story that most professional wrestlers would agree is the essence of what many in their business become.
In closing this over-exhaustive look at "Working on a Dream" I need to emphasize the strength of the instrument that would likely get the least attention, Springsteen's voice. The songwriting, the music, the band, all are undeniable and obvious but these songs work here not only because they are brilliantly crafted, they are brilliantly performed as well.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Working On a Dream

medium_dream This coming Tuesday, 1/27 marks the release of the new Bruce Springsteen album (that's what I call them) "Working on a Dream".
Thanks to NPR, I've listened to it in it's entirety twice thus far and as much as I liked in the first time around, the second time offered things I missed the first time around.
Something that strikes me about this album is its variety of musical styles from pop, to rock, to folk, to country yet they maintain the common thread of Springsteen the artist.
The vocals are stellar as is the preciseness of the music, even when it's raw, it's perfectly raw - something that 40 years of songwriting and performing have clearly helped to perfect.
The best example of confidence and integrity is opening the album with the eight minute epic "Outlaw Pete", a song rich in imagery and storyline almost as if it were an audio movie that serves as its own soundtrack.
"My Lucky Day" and "Working on a Dream", two finely crafted pop gems showcase the E-Street Band as well as Bruce's ability to generate a feeling through his songs. At first listen, you surrender to the melody almost ignoring the lyrics (except the catchy choruses - as it should be in a perfectly crafted pop song) finding the right way to move to the music when its actually the music moving you. Only after the second and third listen did I indulge in the lyrics at a deeper level and they bring these songs to another dimension of genius giving life to the concept of hope.
When I first saw the song title "Queen of the Supermarket" I was a bit confused - I couldn't figure out how even the Boss could pull off a song with this title. Was he dabbling in metaphor? Tongue-in-Cheek? Ultimately, he offers a pop fantasy reminiscent of the glory days of AM radio.
to be continued...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

A Considerably Brief...

So a couple of days pass and still, no mention of the inauguration (other than Aretha's delightful hat). Ultimately, I don't have much to add to so much of what's already been said and of course, the obvious.
I am happy and hopeful for the first time in a very long time. Plus, to be alive to witness a moment of such historical significance is an honour.
This is all I can offer for two reasons:
1. I am tired,
2. Did you catch the title of this post?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I Hat to Have It

Sprizee declared (rightfully so), Aretha Franklin as the "President of Awesome Hats". I thought her hat was magnificent sporting the largest bow I'd ever seen. I was so inspired, that I bought one for myself and had it air expressed to me at work via Photoshop express:

God forbid I should use five spare minutes productively but then, productivity is relative, no?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A Moment of Intimacy

I know you are there
I need to see you
I need to look into your eyes
I need to feel your presence beside me
I want to feel tickle of your whisper in my ear
I want you to accept my complement for what it is
I want to see you eat your food the way you like to eat it when nobody is watching
I dream of touching you, physically, yes - but not just physically
I want to be hugged by you while I am fulfilling you desire to be hugged by me
I want to hear your thoughts and feel your passion
I want all of you while you are wanting all of me
We're not nearly as far away as you might think

Monday, January 19, 2009

(Long) Weekend Update

  • With the exception of moving snow from the driveway, I didn't leave my house from Friday evening through Monday evening (I finally went out for a short time around 4pm today).
  • I didn't shave all weekend and will be sporting the beginning of a goatee (technically a Van Dyke) for work tomorrow (for the first time in a couple of years).
  • I watched 7 movies.
  • I watched 2 episodes of 30 Rock (from season 2).
  • I watched 4 episodes of The Sopranos (from season 4).
  • I read some from each of the two books I'm currently reading.
  • I cleaned the fireplace and dirtied it up again.
  • I moved lots of snow.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Out Like a Light

We were teens and as teens went, we were idiots. So this dude Steven says he knows how to make a person "go to sleep" and that it's real cool. So, being one of those teen idiots, I not only was the first to ask "how?", but I was also the schmuck who volunteered to be "put to sleep".
I leaned up against one of the garage doors in the alley and all the other idiots were watching and waiting as Steven told me to hold my breath as he put his palms on my chest and applied pressure.
The next thing I recall was "waking up" from the ground. I have no idea what the fuck he did or that I should have at that time, been grateful to have survived.
Oh, them good old days.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Mamma Mia

Back in December of 2007mamma_mia I had the chance to see the play Mamma Mia and it was absolutely terrific. Today, I got to see the move adaptation (in Blu Ray no less) and am happy to say that justice was served - the movie was really very well made and lots of fun to watch.
The sets in the stage production of Mama Mia were nice, but it was the actors and my imagination that gave them life. Without the confinement of a small stage, the film production had what appeared to be limitless resources with regard to the set and the film makers and the cast really made the most of the rich beauty of the Greek island of Skopelos; where much of it was filmed.
Ultimately, this film was just a joy and it invoked emotion - the acting was good the music was fun I can't say enough good things about this film.

Friday, January 16, 2009

A True Hero

The word hero gets tossed around alot these days, especially in this last half decade or so since the war began. Granted, there are war heroes out there and even some who don't get the recognition they deserve. However, there mere fact that someone is out there fighting does not make them a hero - there are many soldiers out there fighting against there will and aren't given the privilege of being allowed an opinion or worse, they are stripped of many of the freedoms they defend.

The man pictured above, Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger, put the lives of his passengers before anything and everything and utilized the experiences of his life's work to safely bring every passenger to safety even though his plane went down.

Kudos to all of the rescue crews to and blessings and prayers to all of the passengers and their families. Captain Sullenberger, I am in awe of your greatness - you are undeniably a true hero.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Blu Ray

I bought a Blu Ray DVD player recently because I got a great deal on it from a dude on craigslist and it is a model that has Netflix streaming built into it.

First - I should explain that I've made amends with Netflix. I held a grudge against them for a couple of years when I was last a member because I felt they were withholding shipments to "slow down" service and they couldn't deny it. However, I rejoined recently since they started streaming movies in addition to their mail service.

I had been streaming things to my PC, which is cool in itself but now with this player connected to my TV, it's really a neat item and makes the service a considerably better value and I am enjoying it thus far.

I watched my first Blu Ray disc today, "Elton 60"; which is the concert he did to celebrate both his 60th birthday and the 60th time he's performed at Madison Square Garden in NYC (several times of which I've attended).

The Blu Ray thing is cool - I'll comment more in depth perhaps after I've watched a few films, which I have in the wings.

For now, I am outta here.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Anatomy of a Poem

On Monday I shared a poem I wrote and and today, I break that poem down to describe in greater detail what was going on inside my head (and my heart) while I was writing it.
Here's a peek inside how "Intimate Strangers" was born:
We're intimate strangers
With too much at stake
Neither could stand
Yet another heartbreak

We hadn't known each other for a long time but we were digging each other and having a good time. However, we were both treading lightly for fear of gong down the wrong road, once again.
We've been ill together
We've even shared the cure
We've baited the hook
And been teased by the lure

The first two lines are some interpersonal double entendre. We had both come down with the flu and gotten over it - it was kind of cutesy at the time how it fell into place but it was actually a total coincidence. The fact is that we were both very into the Beastie Boys brilliant sophomore effort, Paul's Boutique, at the time. "Illin'" is a goofy rap word that we used to poke fun at so that's how that got in there and the cure part...or first date was seeing "The Cure" in concert at Giant's stadium. The line about baiting the hook and teased by the lure was a bit of interplay that I felt worked really well to tie in the idea, as I mentioned previously, that we were treading lightly.
Both, too lonely not to try
But too scared from the start
So we share our love
Without sharing our hearts

Bottom line, were got physical while prolonging avoiding the emotional; or rather, addressing the emotional.
Now we're caught in the middle
Of this confusing affair
Two intimate strangers
Who really do care

Addressing the emotional through implication.
So where do we go
And how do we deal
'Cause I want to stop hiding
The way that I feel

Enough skating around the fact that this is more than physical, for me, it is more and I need it to be more for you too.
Two lost poets
In a maze of confusion
Hoping this love
Isn't just an illusion

We both wrote poetry, we were both confused - pretty straight forward and to the point. For me though, I wanted it to be real and one of my problems was that I often led myself to believe there was more simply because that was my desire.
So let us find out
We'll do it together
In the end – it will be
You and me, forever

We're intimate strangers
With too much at stake
Let's be together
Before it's too late

Look, this has been great so far, we dig each other right? Let's step it up - let's go for it. If it's what we both want then let's just go for it and stop wasting time thinking about whether or not we should step it up.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Change of Plans

I was going to spend some time breaking down "Intimate Strangers" today but I've been tied up working on stuff and instead, will dazzle you with mish mosh:
  • George W. has noredeeming qualities - a classless ass with a severe lack of brains.
  • There are temps to the left of zero in my very near future.
  • There are some public libraries that choose to "rent" DVD's for a buck per week. Can't complain about the value but for me, a library is supposed to be free.
  • I just acquired the audio version of David Sedaris' latest book, read by the author, and I am so looking forward to hearing it (I've listened to all of his other - amazing stuff).
  • Common joke growing up...."What's your name?" "My name is Lipschitz, Jacob Lipschitz." "Oh yeah? Well if you're Lipschitz, my ass talks!"
  • I know, juvenile.
  • I cut my own hair this past weekend - buzzed it way down.
  • I need some sleep. Goodnight. 530.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Intimate Strangers


I wrote this poem back in 1989 and after reading it, I am pretty sure I recall what led me to write it. Rather than discuss that now, I thought I would offer up the poem and give you the opportunity to give the words meaning.

Let me know if it means something to you or if you would like to delve into what it means, and/or meant, to me. The second verse in particular refers to something very specific but I am curious how it might be interpreted (I realize this is no Gibran, but it was significant to me at that time)…I hope you enjoy:

Intimate Strangers

We're intimate strangers
With too much at stake
Neither could stand
Yet another heartbreak


We've been ill together
We've even shared the cure
We've baited the hook
And been teased by the lure

Both, too lonely not to try
But too scared from the start
So we share our love
Without sharing our hearts

Now we're caught in the middle
Of this confusing affair
Two intimate strangers
Who really do care

So where do we go
And how do we deal
'Cause I want to stop hiding
The way that I feel

Two lost poets
In a maze of confusion
Hoping this love
Isn't just an illusion

So let us find out
We'll do it together
In the end – it will be
You and me, forever

We're intimate strangers
With too much at stake
Let's be together
Before it's too late

© 1989 Christopher Daniele

Sunday, January 11, 2009

10 down to 1

Stolen from here.

10 Favorites
Season: Spring
Color: Blue
Time: Midnight
Food: Pizza
Drink: Beer or Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi with Lemon
Ice cream: Godiva (not sure if they still make it but it's the best I ever had)
Place: Hawaii (Prince Edward Island was pretty awesome as well)
Sport: Baseball
Actor: I've always been high on Jeff Bridges
Actress: I like Rachel McAdams of late
9 Currents
Feeling: unhappy
Drink: Hot Chocolate (mini marshmallows and whipped cream)
Time: 10:43 pm
Show on TV: Iron Chef America
Mobile used: Verizon (Motorola Krazr)
Windows open: IE, Windows Live Writer
Underwear: Fruit of the Loom (Red)
Clothes: Jeans, T-shirt, Flannel Shirt
Thought: The alarm is set for 5:45 AM tomorrow :(
8 Firsts
Nickname: Cookie
Kiss: I really have no clue
Crush: Kathleen White (I think)
Friend: Kathleen White and her sisters (known in the neighborhood as "The Whites")
Vehicle I drove: 1976 Ford Grenada
Job: Hirsch Printing
Date: Depends on what constitutes a date - the first time I asked out a girl and she said yes and we went out together as a result was with Annmarie Clyne - we went to see "The Legend of the Lone Ranger"
Pet: Lester (a turtle)
7 Lasts
Drink: Before the hot chocolate, earlier today that is, I had some Limeade
Kiss: Oliver, my cat, licked me a few minutes ago
Meal: Panko Encrusted Tilapia with Balsamic Browned Butter Sauce (rice on the side)
Website visited: Facebook
Movie watched: Iron Man
Phone call: I can't recall
TV Show watched: Prior to the one I am currently watching and mentioned above, Saturday Night Live (via DVR)
6 Have you ever
…broken the law: yes
been drunk: yes
kissed someone you didn’t know: yes
been close to gun fire: yes (I even accidentally shot myself once with  .22 caliber blank pistol
skinny dipped: no (I can't swim)
broken anyone’s heart: It appeared at the time that I did
5 Things
…you can hear right now: The TV
…on your bed: bedding
…you ate today: toasted bagel, egg (a rarity for me), ice cream, tilapia, rice,...
…you can’t live without: chocolate
…you do when you get bored: sigh, pout, channel surf
4 Places you have been today:
church, bed bath and beyond, BJ's, home
3 Things on your desk right now:
computer, paper, mouse
2 Choices
Black or White: Black
Hot or Cold: Hot
1 Place you want to visit:
Italy

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Where in the World is Doyle Redland?

I've been a big fan of The Onion News for quite some time subscribing toonionmovie the daily podcast ensuring at least one minute of laughter each day. I was pretty surprised the other day when surfing about in Netflix to see that there was an Onion movie.
I wanted to love this movie because I really love the one minute podcasts but the fact is that at no point did this ever really feel like a movie but rather, a collection of little onion sketches. There was an attempt to tie it all together with common threads and I did laugh enough to give the thing a 3 out of 5 on the rating scale, but to call is a movie and expect it to hold up like one in not something that should have been done. In fact, I learned that this movie has been in the can since 2003 (which answered the mystery of how Rodney Dangerfield, who died in 2204, was able to make a cameo) but not released until 2008, and direct to DVD at that.
The thing that was missing most for me is the voice of The Onion podcast. I didn't do the research but I suppose it's possible that "Doyle Redland" may have become that voice sometime after he making of this movie but it's the voice I've come to associate with The Onion. I feel compelled to mention that I had such a hard time sitting through the entire eighty something minutes of this film in one sitting that I didn't. I watched this film in two sittings - again, there are quite a few laughs and for me, it was all those laughs, written by the same writers of the podcast I enjoy so much that held it all together for me.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Tie Breaker


During the time that classes are in session during the Fall and Spring semesters, I dress up in shirt & tie, slacks, shoes as opposed to when there are no classes in session and summer when I dress way down in jeans, sneakers and the sort.

Every now and again, during lunch break, I'll go to a store to return something and I've noticed that regardless of the store, the way I am dressed influences the treatment I get at the return counter. The one exception is Best Buy who treats all of their customers who wish to return merchandise like they are the devil's spawn (it is this reason I no longer shop there unless absolutely necessary).

Darn, I thought I'd really be able to go off on that but really, what more needs to be said?

Needless to say I am currently wearing jeans and a flannel shirt and returned something to Wal-Mart; I ended up having to play follow the leader with the manager, explaining my "case" to him, and even offering to show him that I am returning the exact product I ordered from their web site because the invoice was vague and it couldn't possibly be an error by "corporate".
UPDATE to WAITING post of several days ago:
You ever notice how when you have things to do, there seems to be never enough time to get them done while when you haven't got much to do, time seems endless?

Thursday, January 08, 2009

It Should Just Work!

Don't you just have having to configure things to work? Should they not just be truly "plug and play"?
Never mind that....
I was working on a computer today whose registry got all fucked up [GEEK ALERT}  and subsequently, upon boot up it was no longer responsive to any input devices. Prior to that, the CD ROM drive worked, just not in the Operating System, you know, when you actually would want to use it.
Anyway...you know, I'm sitting here venting so much I realize I'm about to go into some technical details that I don't even give a hoot about so I am sure none of you are either...sorry!
A few bullets:
  • I've watched through season 3 of the Sopranos thus far and am ready to say that this is arguably the best dramatic series in television history.
  • I really should be asleep, I am f'ing tired.
  • I lead a workshop today to help employees transition to Microsoft Office 2007 today - interesting.
  • Gotta love Kathy Griffin:
  • Gotta bring my car in tomorrow for an oil change, tire rotation, and to figure out why my rear tires keep losing air (and of course fix that).
  • I made caramelized salmon for dinner today.
  • I really have no business posting tonight but it's my blog and I'll post nonsense if I want to.
Goodnight!

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

That Mother F'er Murphy

Today, just about everything that could have gone wrong did, therefore, it was a crappy day.
  • The weather sucked.
  • I had to postpone a training session and now have to do two, back to back, tomorrow.
  • The network, or rather, one part of it - of course, the only relevant part of it, went down today.
  • I actually ate food at McDonald's for lunch - what a fucking moron I am for that.
I think it's time to call it a day...goodnight for now.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Perhaps a Laugh-ish

candy corn
I took this photo as I was walking out of the campus book store. There is  a set of bins against the wall and there were several bags of candy corn atop along with the sign you see here; I though it was whimsical (I didn't take one).
The video below was sent to me by my cousin Joey. It's not so much a video as it is a libretto or sorts to a really entertaining prank.
530.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Skating to Death

Seems like these stories happen every winter, some dumb ass gets the urge to ice skate and instead of going to an ice skating rink, they go skating on a "frozen' pond and fall through the ice and either die (most cases) or come close.
Now I'm no Scott Hamilton by any means, in fact, I suck at ice skating but do consider it remotely enjoyable. But if I get the random urge, I look for a rink, not a fucking pond, lake, or some other body of water.
Before I even go on, I expressed my feelings at this nonsense at work and they all tell me that because I grew up in New York, I just can't "understand" it - I say, BULLSHIT!
Here the wacky logic of it all. Let's take boots with sharp blades at the bottom and used them to run across a layer of ice above a body of water deep enough to drown in and cold enough to induce hypothermia (leading to death) faster that help can arrive - yeah, that's fucking genius. Nothing smarter that a sharp blade to cut away at the thin layer of protection between you and death!
This leads me to another "brilliant" past time - ice fishing. Again, an even that takes place on top of a layer of ice above the frigid waters of doom. This time, you build a little shack to cozy up in because what could be more comforting than a nice heavy shelter sitting on top of that "protective" layer.
Oh, let's not forget the giant jack hammer like power tools used to cut through the ice (translation: intentionally removing a slab of your layer exposing that which may kill you) so that you can drop a line down while praying to baby Jesus for a little warmth and a bite not realizing that every second of warmth you actually receive brings you one step closer to being fish food.
I realize lots of people do this shit and even live to tell about it. Me, I think it's ridiculous and as many screws I may have loose, none of them are loose enough to do either of these gems.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Waiting

You ever stop to think how much of your life you spend waiting? Waiting in line, getting put on hold, waiting for downloads, waiting for people, waiting for this, waiting for that.
Looking back at all you've waited for in life, would you consider not having received what you waited for if you could have that time back?

Saturday, January 03, 2009

12 CD's for a Penny? No More

Growing up, it was the Columbia House Music Club that offered x number of records (the vinyl kind) for a penny (push shipping and handling of course). Sure, you had to commit to purchasing y number of records at the astronomical "regular" price but that never stopped us.

Not sure when BMG came into effect but back in 1985, when CD's first came out, there was both Columbia House and BMG with their crazy offers and between both clubs, a series of mysteriously "lost" shipments and ending membership only to rejoin later made it relatively easy to grow a CD collection at a reasonable aggregate cost per CD.

A few years back, Columbia House folded and BMG cranked up the 12 CD for a penny offerings and I had continued as a member on an off right up through early 2008. Anyway, I was surprises to learn that BMG recently closed membership.

I remember that my own very first vinyl LP was Book of Dreams by The Steve Miller Band as well as the others that came in my first Columbia House shipment more than 30 years ago. Odd to think they're all gone now.

Evidently the parent company of BMG has launched a new service model called yourmusic.com but it isn't the same. Oh, the memories...I could fill a blog with....

Friday, January 02, 2009

Memories of Fried Bologna

I don't recall what prompted me to do this as it wasn't a family tradition or even something I recall ever doing before doing it. Perhaps I overheard someone doing it or saw it on TV or something but regardless, I plopped a pat of butter in the frying pan and then slapped a slice of bologna on top of it.
I don't remember how old I was but I recall that I was pretty young. I watched the sizzling of the butter as it married the fat from the bologna and in short time, the center of the bologna puffed up in such a way that is looked something like a sombrero.
After the hat like bologna danced around a bit I flipped it to reveal a lovely browning that I know will soon bring a crispiness to to my luncheon meat. I slip another pat of butter in the pan maneuvering it under the slice of bologna then press it down flat with a spatula and excited at the sizzles as my mouth began to water.
In anticipation of the fried bologna, I retrieve the two slices of toast that have popped and add a layer of butter to one before placing the bologna on top only to complete the sandwich after yet another later of butter on the other piece of toast.
The final step before eating is to cut the sandwich in half and of course, it must be done diagonally or it just wouldn't taste as good.
Great, now I am hungry!

Thursday, January 01, 2009

And So It Begins this 2009 They Speak Of

I did a whole bunch of stuff today that looking back don't seen to add up to much. Not that I am intentionally attempting to (though potentially succeeding) minimize my day's activities - it just seems that on the first day of a year...wait, erase all that, does anyone really care that I...
  • Did laundry
  • Made chicken salad from leftover chicken (curry powder is my "secret" ingredient)
  • Watched an episode of The Soprano's (Season 3 Episode 4)
  • Watched a movie (Definitely, Maybe) - it was excellent.
  • Baked a batch of Chocolate Chip cookies (using Nestle's original Toll-House recipe)
  • Spent some quality time tormenting entertaining my cat with a laser pointer
  • Listened to a bunch of songs on my iPod
...maybe, or maybe not. However, that is how I spent day 1 of 2009 and I never once left the house; besides, it was too darn cold and there was no where to go that was worth going that I could get to fast enough.
And that is my story thus far.