Friday, February 27, 2009

CuzzPilates and Sausage Whores

Disclaimer: The title of this post makes almost no sense at all and has zero relevance to the content contained herein. It is the hope of the author that at some point between the beginning of the post title and the period that will follow this sentence either or both of two reactions will have occurred: a comical gasp and a "WTF?" The Period
Last evening I attended a book release party for my friend Erin's book, "Models Don't Eat Chocolate Cookies". It was a really special experience to see someone whom I admire being an author and reading from her book and signing autographs. Erin's is the real deal, a genuine good person, dedicated teacher, and a talented writer and she deserves every success.
A big shout out the the always delightful Sprizee for turning me on to TBTL - a real diamond in the rough. Yet another shout out the the always delightful Sprizee for her in studio appearance on TBTL this past week; I can't wait to hear it.
I have nothing more to say at this time. Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


When the President was announced and walked through the chamber doors, I choked up, a tear came to my eye, and I felt hope. An hour or so later, I feel pride, more hope, and passion for the possibility of a renewal of what this country means to those who are its citizens.
In other news, it was Pancakes and Jambalaya for dinner at church in celebration of "Shrove Tuesday" and the kickoff of lent. I was a great time for fellowship.
I get immense enjoyment from observing my cat - he is one entertaining mofo.
Smile and tell someone that you love that you love them.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Cancel the Oscars!

Holy Crap does this show suck!!! Why the fuck is it necessary? I know the ratings aren't all that any longer, why not cancel the boredom and just announce the winners during commercial breaks of regular prime time programming?
I feel like I am cheating the greatness that is/was The Soprano's by burying this here in the same post as the crappy Oscar broadcast rant but here I am just the same doing just that.
Today, I completed watching The Soprano's and without hesitation, I can say that this is easily one of, if not the, greatest dramatic series in the history of television. Brilliant writing, acting, and everything in between.
Two films I watched and enjoyed over the weekend:
"The Groomsmen"  written and directed by the very talented Edward Burns. I really enjoyed this film and thought the casting was brilliant.
"The Devil Wears Prada" is there any better actress than Meryl Streep? I think not.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Podcast: A Rant in 3 Parts

This isn't a conventional podcast. I had a crappy day yesterday (Thursday), got home, had a glass-ish of wine, and then just ranted into my recorder - this is unedited, unfiltered, uncut...RAW!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

'Cause Not all of you FB

There's a meme like thing going around on Facebook. I decided to have fun with it and thought I'd post it here for those of you who just don't do the FB thing.
This is my "interview":
Do you like bananas?
Does a dog like to nuzzle the crotchety region?
What do you do on Fridays?
Sing a song in three quarter time while waltzing with a stranger named Matilda.
Flip flops or sandals?
A man should never expose his feet in public.
Vitamin Water or Gatorade?
Who am I, Herschel Walker?
Have you had a beer in the last week?
11 hours, 39 minutes, 46 seconds ago - give or take.
If you could have one super human power what would you choose?
How x-rated are you allowed to get on Facebook?
What is your favorite place?
Since I haven't been everywhere, of the places I've been to, Hawaii was pretty rad - that's right, I said rad!
Do you read harry potter books?
Do you read Morley Safer books?
What is your favorite food?
The edible kind.
What would you do if Michael Jackson asked you out?
I'd bang him hard - with a frying pan, that crazy ass, someone needs to knock some fucking sense into him.
Where do you want to travel next?
Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?
That depends on how hot he/she is.
Do you shower every single day?
Sometimes more than once per day.
Kill the spider or let it out?
What is your favorite TV show?
The odd couple.
Do you eat cold cereal at night?
Do you ever eat warm luncheon meats at dusk?
Define yourself in 3 words...
Can't be done
Would you rather be blind or deaf?
Would you rather be diabetic or a hemophiliac?
Are you a cat or a dog person?
I am a human person.
Favorite fruit?
Elton John.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Presidential Confessions of a Lax Blogger

I have been somewhat absent from Bloggerville both with posting regularly and with reading and commenting. It would be easy to blame Twitter and Facebook but the truth is my brain seems to currently only be working in single sentences at the moment.

I am writing this after completing the "Income" section in TurboTax and before I get to the deductions, I thought I would stop by and say hello to all of my Bloggerville friends.

In fact, one of our friends, "Radioactive Girl" Tori, is undergoing surgery today. I hope that all of you, if you haven't already, find some time to send prayers, positive thoughts, well wishes, etc. to Tori and her family.

Later this afternoon I am going to a friends house who won my services as a computer professional for 2 hours by bidding $150.00 at a silent auction. YAY!

For now, I must return to IRS obligations so until later, be well my lovelies.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday, I'm in Love

Trying to get the evil taste of disgust and human betrayal out, the fact that it is Friday and a three day weekend looms, this song by The Cure has been in my head all day.

In fact, I twittered the entire lyrics over many tweets. The songs is amazing - most of the versions on YouTube have embedding disabled. While this is a fine version, there is an acoustic version I strongly suggest cheching out over there as well as the original video for the song.



Thursday, February 12, 2009

Creepy People, The Really Creepy Kind

It seems like they are your friend, but behind the scenes, it's really all about what they can get from you. They look for every way possible to extract every last bit they can get from you until you no longer serve their purpose and in the blink of an eye, you get that first glimpse of ugliness.
I'll leave it there for now.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Losing Faith in a Leader

I supported Deval Patrick for governor of Massachusetts - today, I begin losing faith as he appears to be making decisions irrationally.
I know we as a nation are in a bad way, our state is also in a bad financial position, mostly created by any years of ridiculous Republican stupidity.
However, while our debt is vast, we can't be hasty in the decision as to how to pay it down. At first, he planned on doubling all tools on the Mass Turnpike (including all bridges and tunnels). Imagine going to the supermarket tomorrow and the price on every item was twice what it was the day before? Clearly this is not a sane decision and it was basically keboshed.
So today, we hear that his alternate plan is to raise the gas tax by a whopping 27 cents per gallon, more than doubling it to the highest rate in the country. What the fuck is going through this man's head?
It took 20+ years of stupidity and mismanagement to get us into this mess, let's not make a stupid choice in haste thinking there is any chance to pay this debt down so quickly.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Bang Your, Actually, My Head

When I was working in the advertising business (I know, sounds odd perhaps -  I'll save that for another post though), we all used to work very long hours. As such, we often came up with things to do to loosen up and shake off a long week's work.
A group of the guys who played music decided to get together one night a week at a rehearsal space just across from the office. One of these nights, I thought I'd tag along just to hang out, imbibe a bit, and watch.
It's always been a fantasy of mine to be a front man. So, after a number of beers, I thought it would be fun to play the role in this non-threatening environment and in mattered not that my singing voice absolutely sucks.
So I get up there and find some level of comfort in the microphone as the guys figure out what song they want to play. Once the song selection was firm, the guys started to play, I grabbed the microphone and did this lead singer leap thing - only thing is, just above my head, literally, was a set of pipes. I didn't notice the pipes, I was caught up in a fantasy.
I took the leap, smashed into the pipes, got knocked out cold. That's me, a class act and a memorable performance.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Leap Frog Meniscus

I thought I had something to say. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to chat about here in this blog post but because I was doing other things, I waited until now to sit down and finally write what I wanted to say.
So, I open up Windows Live Writer, click in the text area and stare at the flashing cursor and completely blank out.
I have zero clue as to what I was going to type which frightens me slightly. So I did the only thing I could think of doing - come up with a ridiculous title for the post and write what you see here.
I apologize for the inconvenience and hope to resume normal insanity soon.
In unrelated news, congrats to Erin on the release of her book today - I hope you sell a million.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

On Sale Thursday 2/5!!!

The time has come. My friend Erin's first book is about to be released. Technically, less than 2 hours from now!

I am very proud of her wonderful accomplishment and hope that you might consider supporting Erin's effort by picking up a copy.
* * * * TRANSITION * * * *
In other news, I took a nasty fall on black ice on Tuesday morning. I banged up my right knee and am sore a bit but overall, still standing.
I just finished episode 5 of The Soprano's...have I mentioned how awesome I think it is?
I am loving our President more and more each day. It's so refreshing to have a human being leading our country and the fact that he speaks English, major bonus.

Monday, February 02, 2009

How Well Does Google Know Me?

I snatched this from sweet honey Essesntially Me. The object of the game is to ask Google specific questions using my name (and in your case, your name). The results can be side-splittingly (a word on this her blog) funny -- but, mostly if you've liquered yourself up real good (or not).

Q1: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
Chris needs new Paris Hilton sex video. Not sure I should touch that one :)

Q2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
Chris totally looks like Jenny McCarthy. Do I have a jaw/chin combo that I am unaware of? Even a caricaturist ones gave me a jutting jaw...hmmm.

Q3: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
Chris says anything but no. That is true, sometimes.

Q4: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
Chris wants boobs. This isn't completely out of line (though it's funny to read), jsut not in the implied context.

Q5:Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
Chris does lights. ????

Q6: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
Chris hates freedom. This is kind of disturbing (and untrue).

Q7: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
Chris asks, "Is your goldfish smarter than you?" Well, is it? I don't have a goldfish but if I did, I am certain it would be.

Q8: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
Chris likes teacher mom. Hey, I've had my share of crushes on teachers in the past and I'd bet at least one of them was a mom.

Q9: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
Chris eats a massive spider. Clearly this happened while asleep and it caused no harm (so far). They do say that most people cosume a number of insects in their sleep.

Q10: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
Chris wears the Spam hat while on the phone with Gwen Stefani. It's the only way she'll let me speak to her on the video phone.

Q11: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
Chris was arrested for drunk driving, involved in a barroom brawl. How many of you are ROTFL right now?

Q12: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google Search.
Chris love Spider Man and iCarly. I rather did enjoy the Spider Man films and Miranda Cosgrove, while a cutey, is young enough to be my daughter.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

The Other Side (of the Halftime Show)

Let's first reveal the set list as it happened:
  1. Tenth Avenue Freezeout
  2. Born to Run
  3. Working on a Dream
  4. Glory Days
I did correctly predict 2 of the 4 songs that were played but incorrectly predicted that only 3 songs would make it when the Boss managed to eke in a 4th.
Before I continue, I've watched at least 30 Super Bowls - without question, the greatest 12 minutes in Super Bowl history happened tonight and it had nothing to do with the game itself (though the last play before the half was arguably one of the greatest plays ever).
There really is no equal performer to Springsteen - he just knows precisely how to do it.
I could go on an analyze the song selections, the arrangements, the banter, but the truth is...there is no reason to it and would only end up being pretentious at best on my part.
Rock on Bloggerville!

Super Bowl Springsteen Set List Prediction

I write this at 4:25pm, hours in advance with no prior knowledge of what will actually take place. I don't much care about the game itself as my Patriots are not included and will not watch the game itself. If you asked me if I had a team preference and forced me to actually choose, I'd go with Arizona for two reasons.
First, Arizona has never tasted that victory while the Pittsburgh franchise has won five times.  Second, growing up, I was a Dallas Cowboys fan and the Steelers were considered fierce rivals.
Now, onto the important stuff, Springsteen and his set list. The first consideration is that he has 12 minutes - that's it and it isn't negotiable enough to influence the set list (at least not from the perspective of predictor). Next, the purpose of him doing this, to promote a new album and then, the audience. His audience is a microcosm of the broader, vast audience typically associated with the Super Bowl.
Here's my bet:
1. "BTR" - Born to Run - grab the core group of his fans and let them be the fuel to feed the fire to the larger audience. If there is a signature song in the Bruce Springsteen repertoire, this is it and whether or not it's first, I'd be surprised if you don't hear it.
2. Working on a Dream - gotta promote the new album and what better way to do it than with the title track filled with hooks; hear it once, sing it all day.
3. Dancing in the Dark - considering the vast nature of the audience, this song is clearly the most commercially recognizable Springsteen song and fulfills the atmosphere Springsteen is quoted as wanting to create (a 12 minute party).
See ya all on the other side.