Monday, February 02, 2009

How Well Does Google Know Me?

I snatched this from sweet honey Essesntially Me. The object of the game is to ask Google specific questions using my name (and in your case, your name). The results can be side-splittingly (a word on this her blog) funny -- but, mostly if you've liquered yourself up real good (or not).

Q1: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
Chris needs new Paris Hilton sex video. Not sure I should touch that one :)

Q2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
Chris totally looks like Jenny McCarthy. Do I have a jaw/chin combo that I am unaware of? Even a caricaturist ones gave me a jutting jaw...hmmm.

Q3: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
Chris says anything but no. That is true, sometimes.

Q4: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
Chris wants boobs. This isn't completely out of line (though it's funny to read), jsut not in the implied context.

Q5:Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
Chris does lights. ????

Q6: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
Chris hates freedom. This is kind of disturbing (and untrue).

Q7: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
Chris asks, "Is your goldfish smarter than you?" Well, is it? I don't have a goldfish but if I did, I am certain it would be.

Q8: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
Chris likes teacher mom. Hey, I've had my share of crushes on teachers in the past and I'd bet at least one of them was a mom.

Q9: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
Chris eats a massive spider. Clearly this happened while asleep and it caused no harm (so far). They do say that most people cosume a number of insects in their sleep.

Q10: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
Chris wears the Spam hat while on the phone with Gwen Stefani. It's the only way she'll let me speak to her on the video phone.

Q11: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
Chris was arrested for drunk driving, involved in a barroom brawl. How many of you are ROTFL right now?

Q12: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google Search.
Chris love Spider Man and iCarly. I rather did enjoy the Spider Man films and Miranda Cosgrove, while a cutey, is young enough to be my daughter.


Essentially Me said...

Good ones!

Chris said...

Essentially Me - I just realized the severity of my typing dyslexia in this post.

Thanks for the idea.

SM said...

"Chris wants boobs"

The simplicity of this sentence has me cracking up. Love it. Google is a crazy mofo.

egan said...

"sweet honey"? You totally have a crush on her.

Get this, I glanced down at SM's comment before completing this comment and it says "Chris wants boobs" and my word verification is "untie". Coincidence? I think (k)not.

Chris said...

SM - That google is wack-a-doodles alright.

Egan - I won't deny the crush however, the Sweet Honey was stolen from her post.

egan said...

Hey, you're right to have a crush on the woman. I've been fortunate enough to meet her, twice. She's an amazing woman. I better stop there before I give EM a huge complex.

brookem said...

look at all the EM love over at this place! woo!

google is quite the hoot. hmm.

Chris said...

Brookem - hoot woot!