Wednesday, May 13, 2009


Joy tagged me as an Honest Blogger and as such, I must write here 10 honest things about myself (presumably in addition to the many, many honest things I’ve already posted here). I’ll do my best not to repeat, so here goes:
  1. I have anxiety disorder. It first showed up sometime after my mother passed away leaving me with zero parents and an active mind to reflect on the various illnesses that made their lives miserable.
  2. I sometimes need that pat on the back or some small validation that I am appreciated.
  3. I have been bankrupt; literally. When I was 27, years of foolishness caught up with me and I was left with no choice but to file for bankruptcy. It was an awakening that has changed me in many ways and have since had no debt at all.
  4. I once took a married, recovering alcoholic woman to a bar hoping to score. I was way younger and far dumber – this is an inexcusable act for which I’ve begged for atonement from God and from the woman in question (who I genuinely loved and had known for a long time). This may have been the single worst thing I’ve ever done – and while I was forgiven, I can’t shake that I actually did this.
  5. I had a boss who was such a coke head that he often delayed payroll. Once in retaliation for his scumbagness, I lit off an array of fireworks in my workplace.
  6. I love to play pranks and practical jokes on people but I hate it when it is done to me.
  7. There was this bully that bullied me for a long time when I was a kid and one time while he was bullying me, I peed my pants.
  8. I have a deep rooted fear of drowning. I once almost did drown! I can’t swim and deeply fear being in the water (oddly, I love being on the water – in a boat).
  9. I once used my computer skills to fabricate an advertisement in an effort to get a retailer to beat a fabricated price of a product (they did and I saved hundreds of dollars).
  10. There are two dreams (I think) that I have had that were so vivid and realistic that years later, I still think about them and question whether or not they were dreams.
Okay, how did I do? Couple of doozies there, eh? While I typically don’t point out people via nominations and usually just say, go for it should you choose…I am going to nominate 2 folks whom I am fairly sure would at least consider doing this:
Essentially Me and SM. I know that SM doesn’t have a blog at the moment but if you feel like playing, use the comment section. All takers are welcome.
Peace – and don’t think anything has changed….530!
Added on Thursday Morning - I realized that Brookem would be great at this too though with her TMI Thursday series, she's already given so much - but she deserves the Honest Blogger Award for sure :) Also, remembering #4 has forced me to reflect a bit and I may expand upon the story a bit in my next post.


Joy said...

Wow, brave one! Thank you for such an honest list! I've been reading your blog a long time and didn't know these.

I know what you mean about those dreams. Some of them are so real.

I would never have thought about #9 and have to admit that I admire your ingenuity and creativity.

Hope you can quit beating yourself up about #4. It's harder to forgive ourselves, but she's forgiven you.

I almost drowned at 4-H camp when we had to jump in for our swimming test. Ironic?

I don't like any practical jokes, so don't do one to me. Payback is hell! LOL

Thanks again!!

Susan said...

Very honest and very human! We all have things in our past we wish we wouldn't have done. Don't be so hard on yourself. I admire your honesty. Oh-#9 awesome!

Essentially Me said...

You are appreciated!!

Chris said...

EM - that means alot - thanks

egan said...

Huh, I can't see you doing #4, but we all get caught up in these sorts of things. The grass is always greener is an expression for a valid reason.