Over the past four or five weeks, I’ve spent so much time thinking, my brain smells like bacon.
There’s the workplace. I work for a state funded community college and as such, our budget has been battered by the national and local economy. The state of our budget along with other factors have made the workplace very stressful. I still love my job and genuinely feel that I contribute a great deal every day – but feeling that stress is not a nice feeling and it’s just bad for the health.
There’s death….3 of them in just a couple of weeks time. The 23 year old son of a colleague; I didn’t know the kid and don’t know exactly what killed him – I do know that this kid only had half the time I’ve had thus far and it could just as well have been me – why do I deserve my life while his was cut short?
Diane, an old friend from the neighborhood passed away at the age of 46. I hadn’t seen or spoke to Diane in about 25 years but that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel just as close to her, as I feel about all of the old gang. I am who I am partly because of those early years and the people that were a part of it. I love all of them and losing one of them just plain hurts.
“Skip”. Skip was a 58 year old man who I first met when he was a student at the college where I work but later he began attending services at my church. Skip had be unhealthy as long as I have known him, was as close to the poverty line as one can be and still have some roof over his head, and had no family at all. The rector at our church was his emergency contact – that's how we learned of his death.
If anything, all of this death has me feeling much more grateful for the life I have been gifted with and more aware if it’s uncertainties. That, plus some pretty major stuff going on right now in my life and I’d be lying if I said keeping it all together was an easy task.
However, I am filled with hope and faith that the road ahead, though in the immediate future will be what it will be….beyond that I am confident there will be a new unknown to explore. Keep me in your thoughts – I need that right now….