Saturday, September 25, 2010

S - - t Happens!

"There I stood, when I should have sat
took a leak, then oops! I shat (a little)

  1. The following post may be considered gross. Check
  2. This post may easily be construed as TMI. Check
  3. The post title is far more literal than I hoped it would ever be. Check
  4. I’ve added a humorous video clip at the end to temper the horrid reality of this post. Check
Okay then, if you’ve stuck around to read on, here’s what happened to me today.
I was dozing on my couch. The plan was to go out to the Indian market to get a few items I need for a recipe but my body had decided a nap was a priority before my errands.
I awoke from the nap with the urge to pee and so I ran into the bathroom on my main floor and went about my business from the traditional standing position. At the tail end of the stream of (un)consciousness, I sensed the desire release excess gasses from the traditional below the neck orifice when all of a sudden, a simple fart became a shart.
My body stood paralyzed as I entered an amazingly brief state of shock and then upon uttering a loud, and quite literal, “Oh, Shit!”, I strategically waddled my way upstairs to assess the damages and take care of business.
I was pleased that there was no damage to any clothing and all was quite simple from there – I remained in a scattered and uncertain state for a (boxer) brief time and got on with my day after a delightful mid-afternoon shower.
And now for a funny clip from SNL:

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