Saturday, September 25, 2010

S - - t Happens!

"There I stood, when I should have sat
took a leak, then oops! I shat (a little)

DISCLAIMER CHECKLIST:
  1. The following post may be considered gross. Check
  2. This post may easily be construed as TMI. Check
  3. The post title is far more literal than I hoped it would ever be. Check
  4. I’ve added a humorous video clip at the end to temper the horrid reality of this post. Check
Okay then, if you’ve stuck around to read on, here’s what happened to me today.
I was dozing on my couch. The plan was to go out to the Indian market to get a few items I need for a recipe but my body had decided a nap was a priority before my errands.
I awoke from the nap with the urge to pee and so I ran into the bathroom on my main floor and went about my business from the traditional standing position. At the tail end of the stream of (un)consciousness, I sensed the desire release excess gasses from the traditional below the neck orifice when all of a sudden, a simple fart became a shart.
My body stood paralyzed as I entered an amazingly brief state of shock and then upon uttering a loud, and quite literal, “Oh, Shit!”, I strategically waddled my way upstairs to assess the damages and take care of business.
I was pleased that there was no damage to any clothing and all was quite simple from there – I remained in a scattered and uncertain state for a (boxer) brief time and got on with my day after a delightful mid-afternoon shower.
And now for a funny clip from SNL:
 

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