This is part 2 of last Friday's post - the next 5 words I've redefined.
6. Oncogene – A synthetic genetic marker making it possible to receive OnStar™ service transmissions directly to the human brain (currently not available for political conservatives, tea party members, or people who think the Bible is a rule book). [also, Oncogenetics, Oncogeneticist, and of course, the late Imogene Coca.]
7. Pyrophoric – An expression used to distinguish the unique sense of euphoria brought on by pyromania. Ex: “The pyrophoric sensations I felt after setting my tool shed ablaze were nearly orgasmic.”
8. Steapsin – The venial sin that occurs when one accidentally drops a teabag (or tea ball) into a vessel of holy water (note, the sin becomes mortal if there was intent to drop the tea). Ex.: “I should not have been anywhere near the holy water – I accidentally dropped my SleepyTime™ tea bag into it and now need to say seven hail Mary’s for committing a Steapsin.”
9. Widdershins – A painful condition of the shins brought on by the defiance of the sun’s natural movements. Ex: “The reorganization of the Des Moines marathon to run a counterclockwise loop about the dust fields left many runners with a case of widdershins.”
10. Isallobar – A novelty type of bar that serves an unpredictable menu of libations based on changes in meteorological phenomena. Ex: “The unpredictable weather patterns in New England make it an entertaining evening at the new isallobar in Southie.”