Monday, March 21, 2011

Alone in The Moment

Sometimes the loneliness declares itself as a sign of independence and freedom while other times it rips through the core like a barrage of bullets leaving only an emptiness that can't be defined and a pain so deeply profound...

Regardless, that's the essence of life in some way, is it not? There have been so many times I have felt absolutely nothing and wonder if this is what death is? I sense in those moments that at least with pain, regardless of how deep, it's something, it's living...

Have you ever had one of those days where you can look out the window and it seems like a still frame? there must be something going on out there but you've shut yourself off and tuned out so deeply that the world outside stands still and you once again wish for the pain because at least then you can have some purpose again, to feel the pain, to feel anything.

2 comments:

April said...

This is so beautifully written Chris, but you are kind of scaring me. I am codependent. Have I told you that? So please just reassure me that you aren't sitting with your head in the oven, ok? Maybe we should be FB friends so I can check on you regularly?

Chris said...

April - Thanks for appreciating the writing and for caring. I am totally fine, just a writing exercise-albeit, from a pretty dark place. I do have a FB page as well and would be happy to be friends there :)