Thursday, June 30, 2011

As I Say Goodbye to June

Some accomplishments of the month:
  • Of all the things June brought between wacky weather, a stunning loss in the sauce competition, an attempt at social networking comedy and what have you by far and away the one thing this particular June brought that will always remain is a wonderful reconnection to someone very special.
  • I pushed out three, count'em three podcasts this month!
  • I cranked out a few new haiku's.
  • I cleaned up around the house a bit.
Looking ahead:
  • Vegas is coming up soon. Today I was laughing so hard remembering the last time I went to this conference in Vegas me and my colleagues were presenters. Wayne had a microphone wire coming out of the back of his jacket in such a way that it looked like a tail and moved like one as he paced while talking. I couldn't stop laughing, I tried every trick in the book including thinking of dead people but I was turning read and barely able to breath I was laughing so hard. I had to hide behind the notes I was holding - fortunately, I got it together-ish by the time I had to speak.
  • Road trip to visit...does anyone have any idea where I might acquire an actual Lotus Flower? Jeez they are hard to find.
  • Summer session I class ends this week - it was a pretty good class. Session II class begins on 7/5.
I'm pondering the idea of discussing how I've been extra emotional of late, perhaps even hyper-emotional, I think in a good way. This may work itself into a podcast.

That's all for now.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

In Dreams

A candy-colored clown they call the Sandman
Tiptoes to my room every night
Just to sprinkle stardust and to whisper
"Go to sleep, everything is all right"

I watched the finale of "The Voice" and it was bittersweet in some ways. This was one of the finest produced reality competition I've ever seen and week after week, chock full of great performances and the chance to watch people live their dreams.

So many people ignore their dreams in favor of either some formulaic time line passed down for generations yet never making sense or some irrational compromise.

I am in awe of those who dare to dream and then dare further by taking the chance to realize that dream. I do think there is a need for parameters but I also know those parameters are also something that changes depending on the dream, and more importantly the person.

Let me walk with you in dreams
Let me walk with you tonight
In dreams I hold you
Touch your life, your heart, your soul
in dreams and in life
May all of your dreams come true.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Ranting on Dentistry

Before I rant, I'll say this to the positive. When I was a kid, there was no such magical preventive option known as sealants. We got cavities and lots of them; lots of amalgam has been poured into this mouth yet my almost 13 year old daughter, who is no toothbrush marvel, has never had a cavity. Preventive dentistry, for the caring dentists who promote it and the caring parents who consider it has come a long way and overall - for the better.

Now, to bitch slap the rest of the industry and call it out. While I perfectly accept that a major portion of the dental industry revolves around the concept of "Cosmetic Dentistry", there are procedures that are often categorized as such that are necessary to maintain or restore basic oral health. These procedures need to become more affordable so that more people can have them.

Hand in hand with the dental industry, the other major problem, perhaps even more than the dental industry that can at least argue cost being associated with continuing scientific research and development and the cost of new higher tech tools, the insurance industry - most prominently the dental insurance industry is downright criminal.

We need more people to act on this and advocate for affordable patient care and dental insurance needs to be considered a part of health insurance. For dental procedures related to overall oral health, a proven factor in overall health, we need reform now.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Road Hazard

Last Wednesday was a stormy day in these parts but having overcome my fear of falling liquids years ago, I went after work to the local bulk warehouse for a variety of specific items in large packages. After leaving the store, I drove through the little cut-through road as I always do when a sudden loud noise and jerking of the right side of my car indicated trouble.

I bottomed out in a pot hole that was filled with rain, and as such, hidden. My front passenger side tire immediately flattened as indicated by the clever TPMS and of course I went out into the pesky rainfall to verify. Fortunately, said warehouse has a tire center just a few short yards away and I carefully and slowly maneuvered my vehicle to one of their garage bays.

The gentleman initially came off as if he had no interest in being helpful after I explained what happened by telling me “we don’t carry that tire”. I softened him up a bit (and told him that I had a road hazard warranty at Firestone just minutes away) and he volunteered to change the tire to my spare for me at no charge. I accepted his offer and later tipped him for his generosity before carefully heading out of the parking lot en-route to the Firestone shop.

Once I get to the Firestone shop it was a basic business transaction that I won’t bore you with but what was interesting is what took place while I was waiting for the tire to be replaced. I get restless waiting quickly, I wasn’t interested in the TV broadcasts being played, or the crappy magazines and I wasn’t about to intentionally engage in conversation with any of the other patrons because they all looked very scary.

Mostly, I paced a lot and listened into the conversations between salespeople and customers when at one point, the salesman in me had to intervene. There was a sale going very wrong, clearly the kid attempting to make the sale was rough around the edges and in serious need of assistance so I did what I do sometimes and interjected.

The salesman “sold’ the tires, not a tough sale since the guy buying them had four severely damaged tires on his business vehicle and couldn’t drive without replacing them. Where the “salesman” failed was when he asked the guy if he was interested in purchasing the road hazard warranty. The salesperson was emotionless and failed to mention the things that were important and why it shouldn’t be a choice and this is where I jumped in.

“Pardon me sir, I am a customer, not an employee and let me just tell you that I have bought a road hazard warranty every single time I purchased tires, wherever I have purchased them and literally 100% of the time it has more than paid for itself.” He and I broke away from the sales desk briefly to which I highlighted the basic reasons why it was an essential purchase and soon after he turned to the salesperson and indicated that he would indeed be purchasing the warranty.

Soon after, my car was ready and the invoice came out. The manager, Steve, was in his office just to the right of where I was standing so I took it upon myself to walk into his office and ask him if he would consider “doing a little something” on my invoice since while I was waiting I took the liberty of making a sale. The “salesperson” acknowledged my salesmanship to Steve and in gratitude, a credit for approximately $25 was applied to my invoice. I earned a freaking commission waiting for my car to be serviced – how about that!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Caffeine Affects Me (I Don't Drive Manual Transmission)

While the essay below is very slightly embellished, I wish it were a complete work of fiction for what you will soon see are obvious reasons; enjoy.

From the time I became aware of the effects of caffeine, I became somewhat addicted to it. In freshman year of college I had class attendance debates with some professors because I used to often leave in the middle of class to get another cup of coffee. In those days, I never had any adverse reactions to the quantity of caffeine that was coursing through my veins so I paid no attention to it but looking back, if I was leaving in the middle of classes to get some...yikes!

About a dozen or so years ago, this girl I was seeing decided that since she drove a manual transmission, I should also know how, and her mission was to teach me. I always had a curiosity for driving a stick shift so I went for it and boy oh boy, did I suck at it! Between stalling and god knows how much damage to the clutch I may have caused, I'm not sure where her persistence and patience came from.

I thought after a lengthy go of miserable failure that perhaps I might observe more carefully the process and in the meantime, quench my thirst with a refreshing Nestea Iced Tea (in a glass bottle of course). I was listening and inquiring about the various shifting techniques and the pattern of footwork between clutch, brake and accelerator -  I was also beginning to feel a bit emasculated by the process and suddenly, about half-way through my iced tea, my heart began beating fast; very fast, I felt lightheaded and my breathing became impaired.

I grabbed my chest and attempted to control my breathing and told my "driving instructor" that I wasn't sure what was going on but I thought I might lose consciousness and that my heart was racing way faster than I was ever able to get this car to go. Conveniently, we were blocks from the hospital so she decided to play it safe and got me to the ER in a snap, crackle to hell with my masculinity-just save my miserable life.

In these instances, the first thing the doctors do is determine if I had or was having a heart attack. A few wires, bleeps, and needles were used and at some point, I was told that I was not currently nor did I have a "cardiac event". I was then grilled about my daily diet and health/diet history which led to a few more billable labs before I was asked very specifically about my caffeine intake - past and present.

It was soon after that the doctor diagnosed the occurence as a result of caffeine intolerance and that I should be extremely cautions about my future caffeine intake and it was recommended I go for a series of outpatient tests to determine the extent of my intolerance. Mind you, this all happened without the "benefits" of castration!

All these years later, I am proud to say that I do still have my nads as well as a pretty good understaning of my caffeine intolerance. Oh, I still don't drive manual transmission.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

I Awoke Last Night to the Sound of Thunder

Technically, it was this morning, very early this morning...the thunder was so prolific, not only was it as loud as I had ever heard, I kid you not on this, it literally shook my house; I felt it. When I realized what was going on and that I was neither dreaming nor waking at or near the gates of hell I remembered that today was the car wash fundraiser and wondered how we would be able to pull it off in this mess of a weather situation.

After exchanging a few emails with the core of adults who were working the event with the kids, it was decided that with the forecast calling for the rain to clear up, we would give it the old college try. I was very skeptical but am glad we went ahead because we ended up raising nearly $500; which will be a big help to the kids heading to D.C. to do some important mission work. Bravo to all.
While I wasn't able to detect a trace of sunshine, I somehow managed to get something of a sunburn on my face. Dear self, you are one of the adults setting examples for the kids, please make one of them avoiding melanomas - thanks.
After a great morning and afternoon with the car wash, I came home and had a great late afternoon chatting on the phone with one of the most special people I've ever known. Then, despite the great need for a nap, I found my way to two different supermarkets to pick up a few things.

So as I type this somewhere between 10 and 11 pm, I am so thankful for a full day of joyful moments. Okay, the grocery thing wasn't necessarily joyful but I am thankful to have been able to do it...

Anyone out there still reading this mush? Peace!

Friday, June 24, 2011

A Week Gone By and A Touch of Haiku

  • I wasn't too sad to end the work week.
  • Charity car wash tomorrow morning - anybody around or near Framingham, MA - stop by Annie's Book Stop on Water Street in Nobscott the kids could use your support for their July mission trip.
  • If you have already listed to yesterday's podcast, thank you so much and please, let me hear some feedback. If you haven't yet heard it - please see if you can carve out 8:45 to do so - it' s something that came from deep in my soul and has been brewing there for years; I'd love to know what you think of it.
  • In a few of the many moments of silence today, a few Haiku ideas came to me and I thought I would share them with you here, like I have in the past:
This first one is influenced partly by yesterday's podcast, and by several current events in the world around me including a very interesting story I heard from someone in response to me responding to them after inquiring about my recent intentional loss of 30 pounds:

All these years later
Some things have changed and some not
But you still move me

Here's a haiku that was inspired by seeing some photos of a friends recent wedding coupled with the current weather patterns:

Dreaming in color
There we are, dancing on clouds
Together in love

This next haiku came to me after thinking about the idea of hitting the road. I'm a big fan of travel journals and one of my favorites is Steinbeck's "Travels with Charley". I saw Steinbeck's name today which triggered a memory of that book and several fantasies I've had about trekking cross country:

A tank full of gas
An open road to explore
Miles of memories

And here's something I've never done, publish unfinished work. The idea of "a balancing act" came into my head. Not physical balance but the idea of finding balance in life and those things which require striking some balance to be in harmony. Two lines came to me rather quickly but I was at a complete loss for a third line and simply left it blank (for now). Here's what I have (so far):

A balancing act
Like a walk on a tight rope

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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Podcast: Connections

A train of thought that's run through my mind in many different forms over many years. The concept came into my head again driving home from work today and I couldn't help myself but bring it to life. This one is very special to me - very deep - and I share it because I it is my hope that since we all come from this odd species of human kind, that we often encounter certain parts of life in similar ways.

Podcast Powered By Podbean

If you wish to download the podcast, click on the post title and it will take you to the podcast website. Don't forget you can subscribe via iTunes either by using the subscribe link on the Podcast website of searching for "From A Whisper to a Scream" in the iTunes store.

The Best Singer in the Game Right Now - Live!

In my humble opinion, there isn't a finer singer in the music business today than Adele and in this brief three song set inside Bob Boilen's Washington DC office at NPR, she showcases her brilliance. enjoy:

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Blowin' Off Steam

Three incidents I had to deal with at work made for a crummy morning that carried itself through a good portion of the day.
  1. Jerk-off cell phone dude. Guy walks into the lab/library on cell-phone in mid-conversation. I nicely, but firmly ask him to please finish his call outside. He had the nerve to put his freaking had up and tell me to hold on while he continued to walk-in and continue his conversation. Rude motherfucker! How about some respect for others in the room and the giant "No Cell Phone Use" sign? I told him that if I ever saw him talking on his cell phone in this room again I would call campus police immediately.
  2. (Yet another) dumbass opening up the printer. On each of the printers in the open lab, here is a very large, very bold sign that reads something to the effect that under no circumstances shall anyone other than employees of the college open the printers or press any o the fucking buttons. Yet almost daily, another dimbulb who can't fucking read opens the fucking printer or starts pressing the freaking buttons and fucking it up. As the sign says, "You may lose your account privileges..." Dumbassess! I'm telling this idiot whose opening the printer to please observe the sign and stop and she just goes on and ignores me - so I repeat myself a little louder and then again reminder her that I will disable her computer account, contact campus police and report her to the dean of students. Do rules matter to anyone? Do signs mean anything? Why can't a fucking college student read?
  3. Security Breach. This one was the most serious as I saw that someone was logged in using an internal use only account. Turns out this person wasn't yet registered and allegedly was given this username/password combo by a teacher (who also should not have had access to it). Fortunately, I didn't have to get too deep here - I told her she was in violation of college policy and that I would need to report this incident to campus authorities - she immediately gave up the teacher who gave her the info and I told her I would excuse her this once but another violation would potentially lead to expulsion. I then contacted my boss and let it go.
As the day went on, I let it go a bit at a time. I picked up my daughter after work and for the most part, I was better by them. After dinner, she and I blasted some tunes and just danced around the living room acting silly - it was super fun and very relaxing!

I am over all the blah now!

Monday, June 20, 2011

I Haven't a Clue

Today was a fundraiser day for the passport mission trip kids. One of the kinds of fundraisers that isn't as much about asking people to give you money but rather enjoying the benefits of people doing something they do regularly, in this case, eat. the local California Pizza Kitchen restaurant was the location and any and all purchases made by people who remember to bring our flyer will see 20% of the proceeds come back to the kids. I'm looking forward to seeing the results and thank everyone who made the trip to CPK.

Thanks to all my FB friends who friended my cousin's company. She was able to register her FB domain name and that made her happy.

Still pondering what I want to do for a vacation. Funny how people automatically assume that my Vegas trip is my vacation and how they think how luck I am to get a "free" trip. Yes, there are definitely some perks to it but I will be working full time and in fact, longer hours than if I were on campus, that's a fact. However, I am planning to enjoy my personal time by visiting some dear friends whom I haven't seen in very long and enjoying the general ambiance of sin city. As far as a vacation-vacation, I'm leaning toward a nice little cottage on a lake or something froofy like that-something serene. I'd love to do a cruise but not sure I can this year.

One of my favorite things I said today was "sleep well, dream big" - so I say it once again; peace!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day

Being a dad is the hardest job I've ever had and I work very hard at it. It brings me such joy to share moments with my daughter and just her handing me a card that she picked out was enough for me. She's such great kid and I am so blessed to have her be a part of my life.

This is one of those days where of course I miss my dad a bunch.

Today was a good day, start to finish...even the part where I was doing laundry. Sleep well minions, you rock.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

More Than Words

The flower pictured to the right is for someone specific and if that person sees it, they'll know in an instant it was for them. I hope all goes as you wish on the project you are working on and I am so grateful to have reconnected and look forward to chatting again soon.
In Saturday news, I took the liberty of watching a movie today - "Due Date" with Robert Downey Jr. and the completely insane Zach Galifiniakis. I also decided to go visit Ashland State Park, which I haven't been to since they decided to close it for lack of funding. Turns out the residents of the town have taken it upon themselves to turn it into an elaborate dog park/beach.

Where I placed the text, there was a dog in mid-poop; I photoshopped the pooping dog out as it detracted from the peace and joy the rest of the frame illustrate.

I hope you all had a great day and to those of you who are dads, have a great Father's day tomorrow!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Podcast: In My Head at the Moment

A little Weiner talk (more accurately, Politics and Morals), my upcoming Vegas trip, a little plug for and my referral link, and a mention of "The George Carlin Letters" by Sally Wade.

If you wish to download the podcast, click on the post title and it will take you to the podcast website.

Or, you can listen right here:

Don't forget you can subscribe via iTunes either by using the subscribe link on the Podcast website of searching for "From A Whisper to a Scream" in the iTunes store.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Holding Myself Accountable

I'm hoping that rather than jinxing myself, this post will serve as a form of accountability for me accomplishing my goals for tomorrow. I have the day off from work and while I need and plan to relax for a little, I also need and must clean my house.

There is no way I am capable of doing all of the house tomorrow, but I need to make some headway. So here are my goals so that I can hold myself accountable when all is said and done:

  • Dust and vacuum my bedroom COMPLETED
  • Clear a total of (at least) 6 boxes (the kind 10 reams of paper come in) worth of junk from the house and dump it.
  • Clear off the entire kitchen counter and all appliances. COMPLETED
  • Break out the FloorMate on the kitchen floor. COMPLETED
  • Dust & vacuum the dining room. COMPLETED
  • Wash the dining room table cloth. COMPLETED
  • Dust & vacuum the sitting room.
I spent some time in the garage sorting recyclables and cutting boxes.

Those are the ones I really need to make happen. If time permits and I am feeling spry after all that, I may clean the main bathroom and then if I am really getting nuts, hang the curtain rods and curtain in the living room and dining room.

I'll let you know how I make out.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Fiction Friday, Wednesday Edition: "On the Edge"

It's been a while since I've challenged myself to a writing prompt and I had a short window of time. I read the prompt an gave myself a 15 minute writing window then two reads to fix grammar issues. Here's the prompt followed by "on the Edge".

Why does he keep doing this to me? How can he not know by now my fear of heights and how much I hate to fall and on top of that, especially what a clumsy schmuck he is? I ask myself daily, of all the glasses in the closet, why do I have to be his favorite and then I realize, it’s because I am the only one with a smokin’ hot picture of Marilyn Monroe on the front that “magically’ undresses every time he takes a sip; I’ve seen more of Marilyn’s ass crack than JFK and Joltin’ Joe combined.

This table is large enough to seat ten people, it consumes almost the entirety of the dining room and each and every time he puts me down, a little of me is hanging over the edge and all of me is paralyzed with fear that yet again, I must take another dive. I wish I had a bungee cord – at least the carpet is a thick shag leftover from his mother’s poor design aesthetic, a common occurrence in the 1970’s when my savior was laid atop what was a pristine hardwood floor. I still have nightmares about the carpet getting removed, the floors getting buffed and me falling down onto a surface more solid than the top of this enormous table that I’ve never seen the center of.

Oh crap, the refrigerator just opened which can only mean refill and yet another adventure. My only moment of peace is the hour I spend at the spa – oh, sorry, dishwasher as you refer to it; a long, hot shower, a bit of a whirlpool and then a soothing sauna. You should see what Marilyn does during the heavy duty cycle. See ya later.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Life is Funny That Way

Do you believe in miracles? I do, I've seen one in real life. This isn't mysticism or radical religious hype, just fact. Life happens, and then sometimes it really happens and takes you by surprise - twists and turns that only someone looking down could ever have predicted

What I am trying to say is that while it's easy to ride the wave of success and the good times, the real challenges are during the dark times, when things are down, things aren't going right for ya, when things just seem to fall apart no matter what you try - these are the times to try to muster every ounce of faith and belief in the idea that something is gonna turn, something is gonna change.

Don't get me wrong, you need to be that agent of change, you need to stay in the game and keep fighting and it's going to be hard sometimes, the fight of your freaking life - but something is going to happen and then you will see; then, you will know like I do that miracles can happen.

Monday, June 13, 2011

How It Should Have Gone Down

At this evening's vestry meeting, Sarah brought along the golden apron she stole won yesterday and was gracious enough to allow me to try it on. The picture at your right is in my humblest of opinions more reflective of how things should have gone down but hey, after a day of reflection the fact is that Sarah is a class act and there is no shame is losing to her and besides, she's going to have another mouth to feed literally any day now (good luck to the Larson-DiPalma family on their pending new arrival).

I don't at all feel well rested, probably because I am not getting nearly enough sleep an the quality of sleep sucks as I've been having bizarre dreams the last few nights. I can hardly recall but I don't believe there really is much rhyme or reason to them - totally nonsensical but so vivid they exhaust me.

Perhaps the best thing to happen in a very (very) long time is reconnecting recently with someone I've missed dearly.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Spaghetti Anyone?

Today was our third annual Vestry hosted spaghetti supper at church. The vestry is the group of laypeople that run the business operation of the church. Once a year, we hit the kitchen and cook dinner for whomever wishes to part take. Today, their was a (devilishly) friendly competition for those of us who conjured up a spaghetti sauce from scratch and up for grabs was the coveted "Golden Apron".

I worked super hard at my sauce and it was harder to make (IMHO) than the others because I volunteered to make a vegetarian sauce and therefore, did not have the advantage of the most common element in flavoring a spaghetti sauce - meat. I started the sauce on Saturday this way it would be mostly done for today.

I started by toasting some cumin seeds then adding a mirepoix and some jalapeno peppers. I seasoned the base with salt, pepper and a touch of curry powder along with a few bay leaves then let them sweat it out for a while. I then added a can of tomato paste, worked it in for a minute or two then added a 28 oz. can of whole tomatoes, a 28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes, and two 15 oz. cans of diced tomatoes. I gave the whole shebang  a good stir, and let it simmer and cook down for a few hours before the next steps. After the initial long simmer, I blended the ingredients to incorporate all the wonderful vegetable and homogenize the mixture. I returned it to the pot, added fresh basil and oregano along with a few teaspoons of sugar and an few teaspoons of honey to balance the acidity a bit. After another 20-30 minutes, I took it off the heat and let it cool before refrigerating it.

When I got into the kitchen this afternoon, I put the sauce back in the pot and let it start to reheat over low heat. I then added some more fresh oregano and my secret ingredient - sour cream! I let it get to warm before serving and let me tell you folks, it was freaking delicious. However, I did not with the apron - that went to Sarah, who played the pregnancy card and that, along with her excellent sauce (seasoned with meat) were enough to edge me out.

What a great and fun fellowship event - lot's of fun!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Are Those Tears Falling From the Sky?

In a brief moment of complete silence I could hear the rain outside. I decided to focus a bit so I turned off all noisy distractions and even shut the light and then my eyes. I focused so that I could drown out all other stimuli except the sound of the rain and before long, all I could wonder was what if the rain was the earth crying.

Is it possible that the planet might be sad about how we abuse her so badly? Is it possible that the earth is sad because of all the damage we've so selfishly inflicted upon her?

Perhaps every now and again, she needs a good cry to try to make sense of it all. She's done nothing but try to provide for us, provide us with resources and nurture us we seem to go out of our way to be ungrateful and cause seemingly irreparable damage to her.

Is there some way we can collectively wipe the tears from the earth and at least try to be forgiven and reverse the mess we've made? Is there any way we can express gratitude to mother earth and make some effort to change our ways?

Friday, June 10, 2011

Friday Bullets

  • Got a price quote and some detailed information about going solar. Putting some serious thought into this.
  • Strategizing over the perfect recipe for a vegetarian spaghetti sauce as that is one of my charges - to produce and deliver one for Sunday evenings spaghetti supper.
  • Got a great positive email from a student today praising how much she likes my online class presentation - forwarded that one to both the dean and the provost.
  • I think people put too much into things that really shouldn't matter to them.
  • Cares less and less in general about sports as time passes.
  • I need to contact an arborist - I don't like that.
  • Looking forward to the start of Breaking Bad - Season 4.
No better way to close that with the class ballsy maneuver of (re)publishing an old photo of myself (I say re because it appears on Facebook already, thanks to a so-called friend):

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Sunshine (on My Shoulders), Makes Me Happy

The often delightful Ria, from & That's The Way Life Goes gave little old me the sunshine award. Thanks so much Ria, it not only made me smile but gave me something to Blog about today.

Apparently there are some rules I must follow in order to be considered an acceptable recipient and you all know that I am all about rules. So here they are:

1. thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them.
2. tell us something about yourself
3. nominate 10 other bloggers and
4. let them know that you awarded them!

Thanks a bunch for the award Ria (link above), I love the idea of spreading these little joyous things.

I'm currently teaching a 6 week intensive online Computers & Technology course. Lot's of work for the students to complete in 6 weeks which means lots for me to grade but I do love it.

I nominate the following bloggers:

Joy - Babble On

I know this isn't 10 but at this time, they are the only bloggers that still post "regularly" that I currently read and that I think will respond to this (other than Ria's of course but she nominated me - knowing how much she likes the sunshine and how rad her blog, her twitter feed and she is - of course she gets the award from me as well).

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

I Tweet, You Laugh (I Hope)

A while back I got this idea to stand up in front of a live crowd and instead of doing a comedy routing, simply whip out the cell phone and read tweets. Almost immediately after I had that thought, Kevin Nealon did exactly that and my dreams were shattered.

Over the last couple of nights, I assembled a number of tweets that I think are pretty funny and I thought for those of you not currently subscribed to my twitter feed, or read it over here on the right side panel, that I'd assemble them in the order they were tweeted (and that I performed them recently over the phone for Haaaaaaaaatch and in the Admission department). That's right, I can be shameless. Enjoy and hopefully, laugh!

This tweet is free of trans fats

I put my left foot in and it felt so good, I left it there. #hokeypokey

After turning myself about, I pondered, "Is that what it's all about?" #hokeypokey

I think the Spanish verb for "to disturb" is quite disturbing. #molestar

"I conquered, I saw, I came." Doesn't have the same ring in reverse.

"What's new pussy, cat?" #poorpunctuation

Would it be ironic to drown in a tub full of lifewater?

"buy a million sombreros for $1 each and then sell them all for $2 each." #howtobecomeamillionaire

Has @woodyharrelson ever been voted hemployee of the month?

Polly wanted a cracker, the cat wanted Polly - Guess who won? RIP Polly!

My previous tweet was a comedic work of fiction.

iThink that asshat Jobs should focus on iPancreas before iCloud

Who was it that said Fred Durst took Cialis to get rid of his Limp Bizkit?

BREAKING NEWS! Ozzy Osbourne just said something coherent-full story at 11.

Obesity strikes livestock, Mary's little lamb far from little anymore.

"Brothy" is not an appealing adjective, especially when one refers to feeling "rather brothy" after a go around

When life hands you lemons, stop dropping acid.

Just who was it that pioneered the vinegar & water douche?

What part of the gorilla does the glue come from?

Who's up for liverwurst flavoured tic-tac's?

I wonder if test tube babies excel in chemistry

I didn't make the millions I hoped for with my first invention- Rasterfarian Shampoo

Tuesday, June 07, 2011


Throughout the day, there are things I witness, read, hear and even do that make me think hey, that's something I can blog about. However, the day wears on then some stupid hour rolls along and I sit in front of the computer to write and all of a sudden, my brain is shumpled; filled with emptiness where all those experiences were filling me with ideas - all gone.

The yawns get closer together, they eyes grow heavier and the mind seems blanker even when I know it feels like it's bursting at the seems. The body grows weary and tries to negotiate it's way through the remaining tasks of the evening even when sleep seems the only logical conclusion.

Shumpled for now; it's not necessarily a bad thing and the best one can do when shumpled is not to fight it, the thoughts will come nother time and perhaps, I'll have a notepad handy to keep notes on so I can retain the thoughts that I can no longer recall, the thoughte that resulted from the clevernes of clarity when there was nothing short of this day past in front of me.

Monday, June 06, 2011

7 Ways to Eat an Ice Cream Cone

Back in 1991, the girl I was dating at the time had some sort of project and while I don't recall the particulars, I know that my response to it was to write this little diddy called 7 ways to eat an ice cream cone. My quest was to explre double-entendre a bit and this is what I cam up with:

  1. Scoop your favourite flavour into the cone and take a long, slow lick
  2. Lick it fast and hard, as if it were on a stick
  3. Bite a hole into the bottom and suck that ice cream down
  4. Chew the cone around the edges, let it melt down to the ground
     The 5th way is to take the cone and shove it down your throat

  1. Whip the cream that makes you scream but wear an overcoat
  2. When you’re finished with the 1st cone, Have Another!

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Podcast: 7 Randoms

7 randomly selected songs via iTunes shuffle and a few choice words by me to fill the spaces in between....enjoy!

Saturday, June 04, 2011

Comfort Food

The name of this post seems to make no sense, yet. I started my day with an excellent workout followed by a crankin' protein rich strawberry smoothie. With some energy in me, I felt the need to give the bathroom in my bedroom a good scrub from top to bottom and doing so left me with a small sense of accomplishment.

Now that I had a sparkling clean shower, I thought it was time for a sparkling clean me so I jumped in said shower and with a similar zest (not to be confused with the soap product), scrubbed me; also from top to bottom.

A clean bathroom and a clean me, I thought I might try my best to stay productive so I logged into the Blackboard and downloaded some student work and spent the next while grading and then I chilled out to watch something on TV that was apparently meaningless since I can't for the life of me recall what it was, just hours later.

Shortly after 3 pm though, something quite wonderful happened - the phone rang. It wasn't a pre-recorded nonsensical annoyance nor was it a telemarketer. Earlier in the week, while lurking about on LinkedIn, I went about my business and then started typing in names of people I haven't seen or heard from in a long time; I was almost surprised when one name, a particular Lisa, appeared. A few clicks and I was led to an email address, I sent an email, and after a dozen or so years, just like that I was back in touch with someone very special. After a few emails back and forth, we agreed to chat by phone on Saturday, today, between 3 and 4 and that was the phone call I was referring to.

It was nice to talk to Lisa and what was most pleasing, is that while some conversations after years and years often fell awkward, chatting with Lisa again felt like it always did and it was just so good to catch up and talk. I've learned in life that people will often come in and come out and some people are only supposed to be part of the ride for a very short time and others - for a longer period of time. Good friends are always good friends regardless of how much time, space and life get in the way and fill the spaces between communications. I hope that we can stay in closer contact.
For some reason, I busted out my old juicer today and concocted a bizarre juice from kale, tomatoes, carrots and an apple. the juice was good and after consumption, made me feel like I did something else good for myself. Were you aware that kale is one of the healthiest foods on the planet?

I just finished watching a Crossroads episode with Steve Miller and Kenny Chesney - it was quite excellent!

Y'all take care of yourself.

Friday, June 03, 2011

A Look Behind, A Step Ahead

Perhaps one of the most inspiring people I've ever know is my friend Tori. This quote from a recent post had me thinking a lot about some of the things I am working on in myself, "When he gets lost driving somewhere, I want him to laugh and keep driving and maybe joke about a new adventure. That's what I do, and it bugs me when people are grumpy and complain about things that just are." The quote referred to one of her old boyfriend's but was part of a larger concept.

One of my faults is how upset I get over things I have zero control over. When I am stuck in traffic, I sometimes get livid and I know it is stupid, it won't change anything except my own mood and that of anyone else that I may be with; and not for the better. It's one of the things I work very hard at getting better at and the day after I read this post, at lunch time while coming back from work, I was caught up in traffic and while taking a deep breath, peeked into my rear view mirror and something kind of magical happened.

In the car behind me, was a mother and her very young child in a car seat. I saw the mom clapping her hands and clearly singing a song to her child - I saw an expression of such deep love and joy during this brief moment of what I would normally define as miserable (the being stuck in traffic part) but somehow, that joy from the car behind me came forward and I felt it. I was able to recall some similar joyous moments from when my daughter was smaller and it just felt so right to be where I was in that moment that I was almost grateful for the traffic.

I know that there is work to be done, it's all a work in progress but I feel so good about it.

Thursday, June 02, 2011


Today was one of those days that too many things, events, conversations, etc. Were blog worthy in some form. For the most part, ther was a sense of being overwhelmed because underlying everything was the remains of yesterday's storms and tornadoes.

Having such devastation so very close to home has a way of making the devastation elsewhere moe tangible, more real and I could help but spend a lot of my day in reflection for those who were severely affected while being thankful that I was not.

That's all I can really rbing myself to say right now.

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Weather Anyone?

Tornadoes, thunderstorms, all kinds of wacky weather going on in these parts tonight. The sounds are quite haunting and yet, lovely. I'm quite calm at the moment despite several tornadoes confirmed less than 50 miles form my front door and at least 5 confirmed dead; much less a mass of destruction and the warnings are on until at least 11 pm. I guess all I can hope for is a quick and safe ending to it all.

In other news:
  • In week two of 6 week online class teaching Office 2010 for the first time...going reasonably well so far.
  • I noticed a large oily type stain on my shirt this afternoon at work and I have no idea if it happened at lunch today or at some point in the past (it is now "soaking" in Oxy Clean).
  • I have the task of making a delicious vegetarian spaghetti sauce for the spaghetti supper on June 12th.
  • How the heck did 10 pm creep up on me so quickly?
Here's to a safe end to a crazy evening.