Saturday, April 21, 2012

(Accidental) Library Lap Dance

I was at the library this afternoon and spent some time sitting in the lounge area flipping through a cookbook. A bit tired from waking at 5:30am, working out and teaching for more than 4 hours, I leaned back in the chair for a minute and rested the book on my chest, then literally closed my eyes. The plan was to stay awake and just sit back for a minute or two but I suspect I might have dozed off had something very unusual not happened.

I was beyond startled to a state of awakening far greater than when I had first sat down but was more shocked that there was a woman suddenly sitting in my lap. In my sate of shock, somehow the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "I've lost some weight, but I didn't think I was invisible!" This garnered a laugh amidst the "I am so, so, so, very, very, very sorry - I lost my balance."

"Are you alright?" said the woman. I replied, "that depends, but I am sure glad that I was wearing an adult diaper because you scared the crap out of me!" I got another laugh, albeit a nervous one because she might have been uncertain, at least for a brief moment, that I was joking.

I then got up from the chair, mostly to ensure that my legs were still working and then I walked away leaving the woman with one final comment to ponder, "I hope you weren't expecting a tip, I couldn't even get the waitress to bring me a beer." A brief moment of silence, then it seemed she had busted a gut and I still have no idea if she got my sense of humor or was so mortified that she just sat down on a human being that laughing was the only way to not completely die of embarrassment.

So, how was your afternoon?


Maria said...

that is a great story! definitely not something that happens every day at the library :)

Chris said...

Maria - even after telling the story it seems though :)

radioactive girl said...

Do you remember my story of the woman getting in the shower with me at the gym? This totally reminds me of that!

Chris said...

Tori - I sadly don't recall that one, I do remember the more recent nursing home one. Is is still on your blog? Sounds like a must read :)