Monday, April 02, 2012

The Bathroom at Work

Caught up in work, I ignore the initial sensation to pee in favor of not breaking my concentration. The sensation was new so I knew there was time and I was on a roll. It was only a minute later that one of the trigger sounds made the need get to the point where I better get to the bathroom now or it's not going to be comfortable to be around me (or to be me).

The trigger sound this time was the sound of a soda can opening, other such triggers are a running faucet and the bubbles rising in a water cooler. Once the sound of the freshly vended can of Canada Dry Ginger Ale opening hit my ears, I instinctively got up from my desk and walked briskly to the employee rest room down the hall.

I arrive at the door, take a quick peek at the light switch outside of the rest room to see if there is any indication that it was occupied and when I saw the coast was clear, I flipped the switch on and entered the room. Immediately upon entering there was a burning sensation in my lungs as I inhaled what clearly were the remnants of an excessive overuse of an aerosol air freshener in a failed attempt to mask the remains of what obviously was no party for the last inhabitant of the room (or was it?).

The putrid mixture of air freshener along with, well, you know, was overbearing. My eyes were starting to water and my kidneys about to burst. I grabbed a paper hand towel from the dispenser to cover my nose and mouth then inhaled as deeply as I could hoping I could use the towel as a filter to get enough air to hold my breath so I can relieve myself without having to breathe in the toxic odors of a person that must be moments from deaths door. As I was taking care of the business at hand, I had to compose myself enough to plan my exit strategy as I would have to encounter three people in close proximity just outside the rest room; one of which is the most likely to have created this vile atmosphere.

As my bladder emptied, I exhaled very slowly and once ready, I opened the door abruptly, rushed out and walked almost as quickly out as I did going in while taking paced, deep breaths trying to get back to normal. I pulled out my cell and texted a colleague who used to sit near the room and serve as a monitor so that when the time came, I'd have a sign as to the safety of entering the bathroom, oh how I missed her today.


radioactive girl said...

In my nursing class I bought a jar of Vicks for us all to use for strong smells. Everyone laughed when I brought it in but everyone has used it and it really helps. I think you might have needed it, sorry I wasn't there with it do you could use some!

Chris said...

Tori- :)