Thursday, February 14, 2013

Paintings from the Penis

I visited the Kenosha Public Museum today and there was a very lovely older lady who was so eager to discuss with me what I would be seeing today and showing me the layout of the museum. She was explaining that the lower floor was pretty static but "the upstairs is changing all the time."

She first described a bit about the first floor then reiterated how the upper level is constantly changing. She then went on to describe what I will see upstairs (picture this in a Kenosha, Wisconsin accent):

"Up there right now is a series of paintings from the penis."

Startled and about to bust out with laughter hearing this little old lady say what I just heard, I said rather firmly with a confused tone, " From the what?"

She replied, "From the penis, you know the cartoon; the penis?"

I had no idea how to proceed so I thanked her for her help and proceeded into the lower level exhibit which featured a skeleton of a woolly mammoth (and chronicled the story of the archaeologist who discovered the bones).

Once I completed the lower level, I had to leave through the entrance and the first face I saw was this lovely little old lady and all I can think is how she was so excited to tell me about the "paintings from the penis."

I smiled in her direction but focused my eyes away from her, which led them to the very big staircase that leads to the second floor. I had to admit to myself that I was extremely curious about the enthusiasm of that sweet old lady with the prominent regional accent and found myself silently meditating as I slowly went one step at a time until I reached the top and almost immediately considered heading right back down for fear that I would not be able to face the old lady again, which would be required if I left through the front door.

I turned to my right and saw this:
I totally lost it, laughing uncontrollably with nobody else around (thankfully, or they may have opted to have me committed). She was saying "Peanuts" but with her accent (and I think a little from her dentures), it was sounding like penis. I couldn't stop laughing for I don't know how long but I was also very relieved.

I saw that to the left, there was what appeared to be an exhibit related to environmentally friendliness, green technologies that can be implemented in the home and many of which had been implemented in the museum. As that exhibit came to a close, it led to a small art gallery...and then I saw this:
This is a painting of the "Fountains of Peterhof" in Russia and as you may be able to see here, include countless numbers if penises (penii?). Again, I had to laugh - was it all a well constructed practical joke on the part of this little old lady from Kenosha, Wisonsin or just a remarkable coincidence of how the word peanuts sounded when affected by her accent? Either way, I couldn't help but chuckle once more and then I slowly made my descent down to the long staircase.

by the time I made it down the stairs, the laughter had worn off and I recognized just how charming the whole downtown Kenosha experience had been. The general area had a charm about it as had the people I encountered down the street at the Civil War Museum earlier and the folks here were very nice. I spotted the lady and was able to look at her with a straight face. I thanked her for her hospitality and asked her if I may take her picture as a remembrance of my visit. She was very flattered that I would consider such a thing and replied, "well aren't you a gentleman, sure you can." Then, one of the ladies behind the counter suggested that she take the photo so the little old lady and I could both be in the photo. Here it is:
Isn't she cute? Now, imagine for a second having a conversation with her and thinking you heard her say the word penis...three times...within a 20 second span of time!!!

What a truly lovely day!


April said...

HA!!! I LOVE that story!!!And it had me speaking Kenoshan the rest of the day. ;)

Anonymous said...

Absolutely hilarious!! What an experience. I'm jealous of the memory you now have but grateful you shared it with us all. Thanks, Chris. Great story :)