"Stop existing and start living."
An old friend from high school had that posted on their FaceBook page and it made me sad because my first immediate thought was that I was one of those that was just "existing".
it didn't feel good for that to be the very first thought that comes to mind after reading that quote. It doesn't feel good to feel the same hours later - but it's true.
Marc Maron recently said this on an episode of his awesome WTF podcast, "I don't like the hassle of entry, but once I'm in, I'm good." How many of you can relate to that statement? I know I can. Some of his statements that followed make me laugh (only as an avoidance I think to feeling some other emotion), "That's the key to my anxiety", "The portal into my dread." That's some deep shit for sure! "How much can you talk yourself out of before you even do it?"
Somehow this had become a therapy post, though I can understand if you read it as a shout for help. I often get a bit darker around this time of year, Thanksgiving through New Year is typically a bit rough for me.
On a more positive tone, I ended up getting the most beautiful Christmas tree I've ever had! I'm looking forward to decorating it with my daughter tomorrow; my thought is to go minimal.
Be well and thanks for coming by!