Thursday, December 19, 2013

You Might Not Be Aware How Hurtful it Can Be

"Would you like a candy?" "Here's a piece of cake?" "I made some cookies, have one!"

I love to bake and share what I bake with people, I love when other people bake and want to share as well. I love when people are kind enough to offer me their baked goods, candy, just about anything. Almost every time though, I respectfully decline and thank them for their thoughtfulness.

Sometimes, people refuse to take no for an answer and get a bit more persistent...

"One won't kill ya!" "It's the holidays!" "Live a little!"

Sometimes they really are just said in a light hearted context but sometimes, the repeated persistence comes form a place I just don't understand. People have a reason for declining and there should really be no pressure beyond the "no thank you", but there sometimes is and for those who persist with this kind of pressure I ask you on behalf of me and all who decline your offer to please, stop. You might not be aware of how hurtful it can be and it may not be your intent but your end result is making the person politely and respectfully declining your generous offer feel bad, sometimes really bad.

I can't speak for others, but I decline for a reason. I am pre-diabetic and have a genetic and metabolic predisposition to having diabetes. When diagnosed as pre-diabetic, I made a choice, one that was very difficult and often causes me great mental anguish daily - but I made a choice to try to eliminate processed sugars from my diet as best I can, surrender the things I love so much - cake and candy. When you offer me something, I always want it! I always want to negotiate with myself that one piece won't kill me but the truth is, it can; not directly but it can be a spring board.

It hurts to not be able to indulge in sweets, it hurts to say no, and it really hurts a lot when someone I care about or anyone for that matter belittles, even unintentionally, my denial of their offer.

I know I am not alone, the reasons may differ but in the end, the result is the same. When you badger and persist, you are hurting someone. Please, think about that before being so persistent, even in a jokey way.

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