Friday, January 02, 2015

The Night Nostalgia Turned to Shame

Two all Beef Patties
Special Sauce
on a Sesame Seed Bun

The legendary Bic Mac

Back in the day, I ate my share of them. As I grew older (into my 30's and 40's, I began to feel like each time I ate one (which was very infrequently), that I took a chunk of time from my life and kind of regretted it. After the last one I had, probably a couple of years ago, I felt that I had my share and was done.

About a month or two ago, there was a news story about how McD's was planning to cut items from it's menu and there were a few stories I saw that listed the Big mac as one of the sandwiches to go.

While I felt I had my share of Big Mac's, I guess a part of it being easy not to have one was knowing that if I really wanted one, I could. When I saw they were going away, i kind of felt like I had to have one more, just to say goodbye.

As I am driving around gathering groceries before coming home this evening, I decided that tonight would be the night for goodbyes. I stopped at McDonald's, waited in line for longer than I should so that I could swim in the shame I felt for even being in there, watching in disbelief wondering if there was any chance those employees would ever be more than a McD's employee (I know, sounds judgmental and harsh but if you were watching what I was watching, you might wonder the same), and prepared to say the words I would cringe at having said, even as they were coming from my mouth.

"Number 1, meal please." I didn't even have the guts to refer to it as a Big Mac Meal. In an effort to seek revenge on me for thinking so lowly of him, the young genius at the register forced me to swim in my shame for a bit longer by asking that horrific question, "Medium or Large?"

I began to break into a shame sweat and resisted all compulsions to surrender to my inner demons and uttered "MEDIUM" rather forcefully, then pulled back to a more relaxed, "thanks".

Yet again, boy McWonder has the last words my forcing me to pay up. "$7.37 please." All I could think of is that in 1975 it was about $6.00 less expensive, then I realized I was paying $7.37 for the privilege of this experience and in a brief moment of illusioned clarity, I realized that the Big Mac would actually be gone, something in the past, a moment in time and while all of he shame was valid, the nostalgia was also made it all easier to bear once it came time to eat the damn thing.

When I got home, after putting away the groceries, I got onto the computer and out of curiosity, I hit up Google to find out when the Big Mac would be gone for good, only to find out that the whole thing was a hoax. I fell for this hoax...big time, and this is me owning up to that.

I will lay this shame to rest now that it is off of my chest.

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