Tuesday, May 26, 2015

MEME: The Weird, Unusual and Amusing Meme

The following statements are true. Your job is to explain why you think they are true. Just offer up your usual amusing quips! I'm betting we'll have some hysterical responses. Remember that somewhere somebody in the world needs to know these things and your tax dollars probably paid for the research that went into proving them true.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
This is an easy one, donkey is a euphemism for ass, as in asshole and some assholes do things like drive drunk, text and drive, play with guns, etc.

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
Back in ancient Helsinki times, a pantless, gaseous duck was responsible for a massive fire at the Finlandia Swiss cheese factory which almost led to the bankruptcy of the corporation and did lead to many jobs being lost and an epidemic shortage in the availability of Swiss Cheese and allowing for Jarlsberg and Emmenthaler to gain inroads into the cheese market.

If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
The algorithm that determines color orientation is even more complex than gender identity and sexual orientation. Suffice it to say that goldfish, as well as most other non-human inhabitants of the galaxy are far more adaptable and accepting than humankind.

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes. Why were they fighting in the first place?
Zanzibar was getting all cocky after being mentioned in a Billy Joel song  but England told them it had nothing to do with them, it was a fictional sports bar - so they started bickering, but then football (soccer to us) came on the telly and they stopped bickering.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
I got nothing and I don't want any trouble.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
I don't know about the ant part and I haven't been intoxicated enough to fall over in years and years...that said, I might have descended from ants.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Not hard to believe, ostriches are evil and stupid fuckers, or they've proven to be so in all of my encounters with them.

In England, the Speaker of The House is not allowed to speak.
Probably gets more done that way. You ever hear that lowlife shit for brains John Boehner speak?

By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.
How many perished until that was discovered?

On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
That might be the reason...nevermind.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
And they wonder why nobody likes them.

No comments: